My work....wife?

So Keri was telling me about this article she read about having a "work spouse"--someone who knows how you like your coffee, the person you complain to about work things and the first person you talk to when you have important office gossip. Well, it occurred to both of us that we're each other's "work spouse." That's right. I'm in a same-sex office marriage. I've now taken to telling her to watch what she says to me or she'll be sleeping on the couch.

It's Friday and I fully intend on not doing anything this weekend.

I read this article about the Women of James Bond. They were arguing that James Bond films are disgustingly mysoginistic and unrealistic in what a modern woman is and does. Now. I am a feminist. I am proud of this fact. I will be a feminist until my dying breath. But. It's a movie kids. It's a movie that has ALWAYS centered on guns and men and blowing shit up. I'm wondering if maybe we can't just enjoy the fact that Mr. Bond is gonna bed some chicks and fire some guns and drink a few martinis in a dapper tuxedo without making it all about whether or not Pussy Galore has pay equality.

I've fallen in love with a blog called Cake Wrecks. They have the most horrendous pictures of professionally decorated cakes...I get such bliss from this blog. It's one of the three blogs I HAVE to visit everyday or I am very sad (Annette's and Briskey's are an interchangeable 1 & 2). I also visit Jezebel.com everyday. It's like an online women's magazine without all of the shit that makes a girl want to slit her wrists. Hans was the one to introduce me to it and it's actually where I learned to love Obama and hate toeless ankle boots.

Wait. I'm going to have to go out this weekend to get milk. Dammit.

29 Going on 14...

A few things of interest:

I recently procured myself the Twilight soundtrack and have now become mildly obsessed with Paramore. What's that all about? I suddenly feel 14. I have however fought the urge to buy a twilight poster/t-shirt...resist, Amanda, resist.

It's a show day today. We have the African Children's Choir in residence. It's a choir made up entirely of African children who have lost either one or both of their parents to war, genocide or HIV/AIDS and yet they're so joyful. They sing and dance and ask for seconds of mashed potatoes. It makes me feel ungrateful. They've had to overcome so much already in their little lives and here I am with a roof over my head and food in my belly and I'm complaining about my thighs touching.

Scott is currently in the UK (he's rocking Northern Ireland tonight). He's mixing sound for The Stone Gods. I would recommend them to anybody who enjoys some hard licks and rockin' riffs (I have no idea what that means, but they use those phrases to market Rock Band, so it's gotta apply to this situation). They're actually quite talented, check 'em out if you're a metal head.

Keri (my office special friend) and I helped a young man propose to his girlfriend the other night. It was all very elaborate. Keri & I watched their reflection in the big window and when she finally said yes we clapped and cheered. Then I puked. People in love gross me out.

Ya know what else grosses me out. Prop 8 passing. It's nothing more than state sanctioned civil rights violations. I actually saw an ad the Prop 8 folks had produced that had a family talking about how they didn't want their children to have to learn about homosexual marriages and "normalizing" same sex partnerships & families. As a mother, that makes me both sad and angry. Sad, because I think it's a parent's job to teach their child that the world is a big place--filled with lots of people and places and differences, but that everybody is important and deserves the same happiness. It makes me angry because MY child is going to have to inhabit the same world as these homophobic douchebags.

On a lighter note, I shall end this post with a joke from Gavin. We were walking to school yesterday and it was raining enough to require an umbrella. Gavin said to me, "Cruddy rain." To which I replied, "Hey. It could be worse. At least it's not raining cats & dogs." Without missing a beat Gavin said, "But I would know it was raining cats & dogs when I step in a poodle!"

Now, if you'll please excuse me...for some odd reason I feel the strange need to go shopping at Hot Topic and hang out at a food court...

GS 911

My goodness...it has been a while since I wrote last. I'd like to say it's because I've been so unbearably busy....that my life is SO phenomenally exciting that I couldn't possibly have the time to write...the truth is, I'm lazy. I think it's best that we get this really out into the open. That way you know what to expect from our relationship. I'm lazy AND my life is boring, so the combination of those two things makes for interesting blog keeping!

Anyway, I actually have been busy. Scott came to visit (contented sigh). It was fantastic and fun and comfortable and all those really good adjectives that invariably make events sound cheesy and lame. I decided that I like having him around...even if it means I have to make an actual dinner every night (for some odd reason he doesn't believe in eating cold cereal for dinner). I hadn't seen him for 5 months, so it was absolute bliss getting to wake up next to him every morning and he would meet me and walk me home from work. I put him on a plane yesterday morning and I kinda miss him.

What I don't miss is the pile of dirty dishes sitting in my sink. I HATE dishes!

I need to get started on Gavin's Halloween costume. He decided that he wanted to be a dalmation this year and with Halloween on Friday, I better get started or he'll be devastated (he's a little dramatic, if you don't already know).

I wanted to tell an official blog Congratulations to my dearest friend Annette and her awesome husband Mike. The possible vampire mutant baby you're carrying in your womb, Annette, is going to be one lucky kid--he's/she's going to have some kick-ass parents!

Ok. I've gotta go give the kid a bath...he smells like a puppy!

I thought that I had mono once, turns out I was just really bored.

So I learned last night that Prairie Dogs identify members of their family by "kissing" and if they don't recognize the other prairie dog's "kiss" they'll start fighting that promiscuous prairie dog until it runs away. I thought that was pretty interesting. It's amazing what you can learn from a children's book about animals that live in the dark...

Scott is here! Huzzah! After not seeing him for 5 months, it's nice to be able to be in the same room with him and kiss his face. Huzzah!

I'm not sure if I'm getting sick or if it's just a general feeling of malaise. I think what I need is a nap and a sugar cookie, not in any particular order.

I'd like to wish all my Canadian readers a very happy Canadian Thanksgiving. I'm not quite sure why you guys celebrate it so early, but don't be "sorey" about it....ha!

I'll take "Hodge Podge" for $300, Alex

Hello, friends....it's been a while since I've written and my last post was rather wah-wah, so I thought that I better write a new one with a more upbeat story. This past weekend I had the opportunity to have one of the best experiences of my marginally short life...I was able to visit Notre Dame University, see a game in the stadium, tailgate hard core style, and take a tour of the locker room (sans boys, le sigh) and walk out of the tunnel and onto the playing field. As lame as it sounds, I teared up a few times, realizing that I was somewhere that held a lot of significance to my family. I got to touch the Play Like a Champion Today sign! I got to see where the family box used to be! I got to watch a Notre Dame game FROM Notre Dame Stadium! And I got to do it all with my dad! It was one of the coolest things I've ever done and there aren't enough words to describe how important it was to me.

I've also started compiling a list of things I NEVER want to happen to me:
1. Being carjacked. (Not fun and I'm happy to say I could live without it happening to me)
2. Getting tasered. (I don't think I really even need to elaborate)
3. Having never ending hiccups. (I watched this mystery diagnosis show and this woman had the hiccups for 6 months and they couldn't figure out what was wrong with her.)

I've also decided that I don't like kids. Let me qualify that. I absolutely love and adore MY kid. Other people's kids I could definitely do without. Gavin is currently playing indoor soccer (he played it last year and had a really wonderful time) and I dread having to go and spend an hour being poked and stared at and run into and hit with wayward balls (I know, there's a joke in there, but we're all being adults) courtesy of all the ill-behaved, ill-mannered, ill-watched children that don't belong to me. Geez, people, if your kids can't behave, stay at home, I just want to be able to watch my kid play some soccer in peace!

I've also started compiling a list of things that make me ever so slightly angry
1. John McCain and Sarah Palin
2. The economic "Bailout"
3. People who want to make same-sex marriage illegal. Ummm....it kinda sounds like state sanctioned discrimination to me. And correct me if I'm wrong, but wouldn't God/Heavenly Father want his children to be happy? I'm just sayin'....

I caught my foot on the top of a box this morning and tripped headlong into a cement ceiling support beam. I think I may be concussed.

I've also started compiling a list of things that are full of awesome
1. My kid
2. Scott and the fact that I get to see him in 6 days
3. Autumn in Cache Valley

Ok. I think I've covered everything. I'm going to take a few ibuprofen and get to bed.

I can help you at this window, sir.

I often wonder what exactly goes through a person's mind when they're calling another human being "incompetent." And after they've yelled and belittled that person, do they have a flash of guilt or remorse about it. I'm wondering about it a lot more today as it actually happened to me this afternoon. I was helping a patron with his ticket order and evidently he felt my intelligence (or lack thereof) should be brought to the attention of my colleagues and his fellow patrons in a rather loud and abrasive manner. I've learned a lot at my job. I've learned a lot about myself at my job. I've mostly learned that people are kinda jerks. I hate to admit it. I hate it even more to put it into print, but, alas, it's the truth. I've learned that no good deed goes unpunished and if you give a mouse a cookie, he's going to definitely want a glass of milk and he's not going to want to pay full price for it OR like where I've put the cup. I guess this is what I get for being nice...but life kinda has a way of sucking the nice out of you....no, that's not true...life has a way of making you decide who you're going to be nice to and then leave the rest where they stand....I give everybody the same fair start...haven't they heard the saying "You get more flies with honey than you do with vinegar"?!!

Five days sooner...

So, I was watching America's Next Top Super Secret CIA Tippity-Top Top Model Search of America the other night and witnessed something that both disturbed and angered me. No, it wasn't Isis the transgendered contestant (who is FIERCE by the way), no, it wasn't the other contestants disgustingly mocking Isis (gross and not right), and no, it wasn't even Mr. Jay's hair (really, though, what was THAT?!).

It was a First Response pregnancy test commercial.

Evidently, previous pregnancy tests were too difficult. All the one pink line vs. two pink lines and pluses or minuses or Pregnant or Not Pregnant was too confusing...now they've engineered the test to simply read "No" or "Yes". To which I say: IF YOU CAN'T READ THE RESULTS OF A HOME PREGNANCY TEST MAYBE YOU SHOULDN'T BE HAVING A KID!!! Seriously! Having found myself in the company of a home pregnancy test before, I can understand the stress-induced stupor that might make things a little dicey in the thought/recognition department, but c'mon you guys, it's not rocket science.

Scott & I commemorated one year of "dating" yesterday. It was all very exciting. I celebrated by being 3,000+ miles away from him, eating a bowl of spaghetti and then going to bed at 9:15. I know. Romantic, right?!!

The weather has finally taken a turn, and it's Fall in the great Cache Valley. I love the Fall. I love the Fall here. I'm ready for the mountainside to be varying shades of oranges and reds. I'm waiting patiently to be able to see my breath in the mornings....then I'll know that the cool weather is here to stay and I can break out the sweaters and the raspberry beret.

I just wanted to take a moment and tell Briskey how much I love him. You've always been a kind and devoted friend to me, Brian, even when I didn't deserve it. I can't and don't want to picture my life without your friendship. I never knew that I owed Rent so much...it saved you and brought you into my life. I love you. Now let's commemorate that love by living 3,000+ miles away from each other and eating a bowl of spaghetti!