Saturday, August 20, 2011

I think motherhood should award medals!

The title section of my blog remembers previous blog titles....I don't know why, but this creeps me out. I guess it's helpful if I'm suffering from some sort of amnesia, like a soap opera character or that one girl who auditioned for So You Think You Can Dance with Cat Deeley on the Hot Tamale train dance show this year. But I'm not, so it just creeps me out.

Congratulations to both Kevin and Briskey for becoming gainfully employed. Hooray being able to pay the light bill doing something you love!

On the note of no longer being a burden to the taxpayers of America, I also have procured myself my first job as an LPN. I will be giving seasonal flu shots. It's a temporary job, only from September to December (flu season, ironically), but it feels nice to be using my license, even if it is spending six hours a day poking people in the deltoid!

My step-daughter Hannah turned 13 yesterday. We had six teenage girls giggling and whispering and eating treats in our basement last night for a sleep over. All of her friends are cute and not socially awkward at all. Nothing like myself at 13! Christopher is having a hard time coming to grips with the fact that his daughter is 13 and 3 years away from driving and dating. We have told her, however, that she's not allowed to date until she's 23, so we'll see how that goes!

We all drove to Idaho Falls on Monday to go see The Bodies exhibit. If you have the opportunity to see this show, I vigorously encourage you all to go. It's a collection of dead bodies, stripped of their skin and preserved using a special polymer. It is a bit unnerving when you first walk in and are met with the first body, but eventually the "creepiness" subsides and you're just left with this fascination of how marvelous and spectacular the human body really is. It is an interesting predicament trying to explain to your nine year old stepdaughter what testicles are, but a girl has gotta learn some time, right?!

In today's installment of "Funny Things My Kid Says"

With six teenage girls, and one tween who is desperate to be a teen, in the house last night, Gavin just could not handle that much estrogen. I went up to his little loft room above the kitchen for him to come down and have cake.

Him: Mom, I can't come down there. There are too many girls down there. I don't want to be in a room with that many women. It's an unnatural balance.

And he most certainly did not come down to the kitchen! I ended up having to take his slice up to his room for him to eat!

Thursday, August 4, 2011

I wouldn't be surprised if I got a pat-down....

All is quiet in the house....all the wee ones (and my not so wee husband) are fast asleep. I, unfortunately, seem to be experiencing a case of the Can't Sleeps, so I thought I'd update all you fine people (all 4 of you!), on what's been going on in this life I'm leading. Hmmmm.....where to start, where to start.....

Sadly, no more dreams starring Tom Skerritt. Sad face.

I took my nursing boards test last week. They are not kidding around when it comes to security/cheating prevention. Not only was I photographed and fingerprinted, but I was also palm vein scanned! Yeah, I'd never heard of it either, but evidently it's one of the ways the folks at PearsonVue ensure that I am who I say I am and that I haven't switched myself out with a smarter person named Tina who was waiting in the stall of the women's toilet in a blonde wig. I was convinced that I had failed. During the ENTIRE thing I was filled with the deep panic of currently being in the process failing, and failing in an epic manner. It was a terrible feeling. I finished the test in just 70 minutes and when I got finished the testing proctor said "Well, that was quick." This did not make me feel better and I made it as far as the main entrance of the building before I began to cry, and proceeded to cry for the remainder of the day....and most of the next day. Finally, I accepted that I was just going to have to take it again and that it would be ok, that I'd just study harder next time and be more focused. I was even contemplating getting a tutor. I was emotionally prepared for failure. Then I paid a small fee (the best $8 I've ever spent) and discovered that I passed! All that emotional anguish for nothing! All those tears and acid reflux and eating my feelings for nothing! I'm currently in the possession of my official LPN license and can now start looking for a job. You know, guys, it feels strange. It took me 2 1/2 years, from the start of this journey to the end, and I can honestly say I feel a little...I don't know, lost, for lack of a better word. I'm finally here and I thought I would feel different or it would feel different and it doesn't and I don't....does any of that even make any sense?!

Hans bought Gavin a bunch of classic books adapted for children. We're currently reading Call of the Wild, which I have never read. That shit is depressing. Gavin seems to think it's great, but I think it has more to do with the fact that it's told from the perspective of the dog and involves "adventure" than from what actually occurs in the story. He wants to read White Fang next, another book I haven't read, so I'm really hoping it's a little less depressing than this one!

It's thundering and lightning like crazy here. Summer storms in of the lovely things about living here.

I'd like to start a new segment to my blog entitled "Funny stuff my kid says"! Today's installment involves a little backstory. I am addicted to chai tea lattes from the Starbucks. I have to force myself to only get the grande and to only go once a day. It's a terrible addiction. Due to my penchant for iced chais during the summer months, Gavin is well acquainted with the Starbucks (he will get himself either a vanilla bean smoothie, but his new favorite drink is the double chocolatey-chip smoothie). The other day Christopher bought a little coffee maker that allows you to only make one cup of coffee at a time and involves a small filter, a couple spoonfuls of coffee grounds and hot water from the kettle. So the other day Gavin was commenting about how he likes the smell of coffee...the premiere submission into "Funny stuff my kid says":

Him: Ahhhhhhh. The sweet smell of coffee in the morning. It reminds me of Starbucks. And I am awful fond of Starbucks!

I know. What kid uses the phrases "awful fond"?! I don't know where he gets it, but it's awesome!

My husband has just wandered out the the living room wondering where I am, so I think I'm going to to escape to the bedroom and have an actual grown-up, that's not a euphemism....I really do mean a grow-up conversation....I've been a stay-at-home mom with Gavin and the girls for the past week, and I have to say, I don't know how you do it, Annette!!

I hope you're all doing well and take a minute to eat a snow cone...and no, that's not a euphemism either!