Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Pucks & Gs

Well, this is the post-Christmas blog and I suppose it's tradition to talk about how great the holidays were and how filled with the Christmas spirit I was and how much joy and love the season brought. We all know that is not how I feel about things, so I shall leave you with the fact that because of Christmas I've eaten nothing but cookies and chocolate covered marshmallow Santas for a week straight and as a result my pants are feeling a little snug through the ass and I'm having eater's remorse, I spent most of the time doing dishes and cleaning, and I'm just ready for things to be over already. Can't I cancel New Years...I think that should be allowed...I mean, I know I can't cancel Christmas (the children, think of the children), but I think I should be able to cancel New's just always been one of those holidays that reminds me that I'm going to die fat and alone and be found 2 weeks later, half eaten by wild dogs.

Although I hate New Years, I do like the idea of starting new and fresh with a clean slate for a new year. That has always appealed to me, and I'm very happy to see 2009 come to an end. I know that early 2010 is going to be filled with a lot of hard work as I finish up my pre-reqs and apply for my program, but 2010 HAS to be better than 2009...karmically it just HAS to be!!

I am happy to report that my ukulele has been shipped and I should be receiving it soon! I can't seem to be able to track it from the number they gave me, but I'm not going to let that trouble will get here eventually....right?

So I've been thinking about what new fact I wanted to research and realized that there were two little ones I wanted to do instead of one big one, so here it is, The Things You May Not Have Known, Post-Christmas 2009 style.

1. Hans and I rented Public Enemy, the movie about John Dillinger (starring Johnny Depp, who, looks EXACTLY the same as he did when he did 21 is that possible?!). I liked it, except for the casting of Billy Crudup, but really that has more to do with the fact that I've never really forgiven him for leaving Mary Louise Parker 7 months pregnant to run off with Claire Danes...I mean, what kind of man does that, but I digress. Anyway, in the movie they referred to the FBI agents hunting John Dillinger as "G-Men" and I had no idea what the "G" in "G-Men" stood for, so I looked it stands for "Government" but referred specifically to federal agents, not state or local government agents. Its first popular American use was in a book about Al Capone written in 1930, but was used earlier in Ireland starting in 1916 to describe the detectives of the Dublin Metropolitan Police force's "G Division."

2. Next. The Winter Classic. Now, if you're not a hockey follower, which, I must admit, I am not, you might not know what The Winter Classic is. Allow me to enlighten you. The Winter Classic is a NHL exhibition game that is played entirely outside! The first game was held on New Year's Day 2008 and was so popular (almost 72,000 people in attendance & 3.7 million viewers) they decided to do it every year. It's played in a different location each year...last year they played at Wrigley Field in Chicago and this year they're playing at Fenway Park in Boston (it's the Bruins versus the Flyers). And because the wind can cause an unfair advantage, the NHL breaks the third period into two 10 minute increments instead of one 20 minute period, and the teams switch directions! I know absolutely nothing about hockey (I suppose at one point I'll probably do a facts entry on that!), but I think I'll be watching the Winter Classic this year....think of all my potential hockey boyfriends!

Saturday, December 19, 2009

Frets & Winds

So my "How to play the ukulele like a Pacific native, only minus the beautiful copper skin and flowing island hair" book arrived on Thursday. It was a little bittersweet as you all know the ukulele itself is a good week+ from being delivered, but regardless I cracked open the book and took a gander. Gulp. The ukulele only has 4 strings and yet each string makes like a gazillion different notes! And reading the notes--Every Good Boy Does Fine and F-A-C-E? How is that helpful when both have which F is it...the Fine or the F of FACE. And what the hell is an open note?!! They talked about playing the C string as an "open note" but didn't feel inclined to explain what an open note was. I felt a sense of panic...the whole endeavor was supposed to be a fun exercise in learning to play an instrument. Maybe this is what I get from buying a how-to manual from a man named Lil' Rev.

I finished all of my holiday shopping yesterday. It really is a marvel how many people were out at the stores. Still didn't make me like the holiday, but I am excited to see the kid open his presents.

So as I was reading My Life in France, Julia was discussing the Mistrals that hit Marseilles every winter. Now, I don't know about you, but I had NO IDEA what a Mistral was. This then set off a domino-effect of me thinking "well, what else don't I know about?" Well, I have decided that every week I'm going to focus on learning a little bit about something I have no knowledge about and lucky for you, kind readers, you get to learn with me...this week, obviously, is the mistral.

A mistral is a strong, cold, dry wind from the north which accelerates when it's funneled through the Rhone and Durance River valleys of France. It is mainly felt along the Mediterranean Coast of Southern France and can even cause sudden storms in the Mediterranean itself. It's name means 'masterly' in the provencal language. It is usually accompanied with clear and sunny weather, although extremely cold (enough to freeze salt spray onto windows and buildings). The winds can reach speeds of 90 kilometers an hour (that's about 56 miles per hour for us non-metric system users) and are believed to be a cause of good health, since the mistral dries out stagnant water and mud and blows away pollution. And now you know what a mistral is!

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Sir, you are no gentleman. And you, Miss, are no lady.

I watched a little bit of Gone with the Wind last night and it got me thinking, do you think Scarlett was really in love with Ashley or do you think she just kept chasing him because he was the one she couldn't have? And do you think Ashley was in love with Scarlett? I mean, he always seemed like a pretty stand-up guy, that Ashley Wilkes, so he must have loved her at some time, but had moved on to Melanie (who, I always identified with more than Scarlett...Scarlett I could never get a handle on, but Melanie made sense to me). And was Scarlett's near-constant pining after Ashley pathetic or tenacious? I mean, eventually she realizes she's madly in love with Rhett, but doesn't realize it until he tells her to get bent and then again you wonder if she really wants Rhett or just likes the chase. Again. I never understood Scarlett!

I finally got an answer about my ukulele after I called them. It will be shipped by the 29th. See. Now was that so difficult, Musician's Friend?!

Hans introduced me to a new website entitled Badass of the Week. Essentially, this gentleman takes "badasses" from history and writes little biographies about them--some are obscure like Coelia the hostage and some are not like Marie Curie (THE CUUUUUURRRRIIIIIIEEEEES!). Anyway, this man has just about the funniest writing style I've ever read and I find myself spending far too much time reading them. He's been writing the website for the last couple of years and he posts a new badass every Friday (last week's badass was The Kraken!). If you have a few minutes to kill, I definitely recommend visiting...his use of the phrase "face melting" and "asskickery" is beyond description!

I can't believe Christmas is next week. As you all know, I loathe, detest and hate the Holidays. They just make me sad and stressed out and angry, so I'm not looking forward to having to go out on Friday to buy presents. Compound the three previous emotions and the eventual disappointment concerning the aforementioned gifts and it makes a potent combination! I'm not kidding when I say if I could cancel the Holidays I would, and before you get all uppity and say things like "but what about Gavin, doesn't he deserve to have a Christmas filled with frivolity and love and puppies," I will answer with this--isn't it better that he have a mother that doesn't want to stab someone?....go ahead....think it over...yeah...that's what I thought.

Yeah, Kevin. You and Carolyn always kinda struck me as the couple that would kiss each other's faces without any regard for the inevitable teenage puking sounds...I admire that about you!

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Tiptoe through the tulips...only not as creepy...

I've taken to crocheting again. I find it soothing to just sit on the couch and crochet. It's rather mindless work and yet, by the end of So You Think You Can Dance I was finished with 1/3 of a scarf for Hans. She spent $12 on the yarn. I gently pointed out to her that she could have bought a really nice set of hat, scarf & gloves at the Target for the same amount. Without missing a beat she said, "But it wouldn't be made with love." I still don't think my love is worth $12!

After hearing a segment on CBC radio about ukuleles, I decided that I was going to learn to play one. I knew that I would have to wait until classes were finished, because if I had it in the house I knew that I wouldn't focus on my school work and would instead spend endless hours learning to play Bon Jovi songs on my ukulele. So, the other night, with classes completed, I ordered my ukulele. Then I got a email saying it was back-ordered (which, by the way, if I had known I wouldn't have ordered that one, obviously) and now I can't get anybody from Musician's Friend to write or call me back. All I want to know is when I'll be getting the damn thing and to make things worse, the "How to get hours of joy and impress your friends and strangers by playing this awesome wee-guitar" book that I ordered at the same time is set to get here next week. Talk about depressing.

Gavin wrote a letter for Santa at school this week. It went like this:
Dear Santa,

How are you? May I have a Transformer and a Bionicle too? I love Christmas, do you love it too?

First off, I appreciate how he inquires after Santa and how he's doing! The second best feature is the fact that my kid used the phrase "May I"!! What 7 year old says "May I"?!!

Kevin, I'm a little jealous about your procuring of the book for a does seem like a excellent way to buy books, but I have an issue with "used" books....I always have, even in college, I always bought all my books gave me the heebs to have a book that I knew a stranger had put their germs all's the same reason I can't read books from the makes me uncomfortable! You can call me a weirdo, but I prefer quirky! And congratulations on being 1/2 of an empty-nest couple. Please tell me that you and Carolyn make out all the time because there's nobody to harsh on your mellow now!

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Never Apologize

Hello Friends!

As you can see from my previous post it's been over 2 months since my last blog entry! It seems like a lifetime and a blink of an eye since the last time I wrote. I've actually had loads to say and lots of things to talk about with all of you, but at the end of the day I just didn't ever do it! So, I thought maybe I'd try and catch up, as it were and update, update, update!

I am officially finished with classes for the semester. My Elementary Microbiology class was unbelievably interesting and fascinating and disgusting all at the same time. I learned an obscene amount of information and am now able to do gram stains and wet mounts (stop giggling Briskey) and acid-fast tests and tell you the causative agent of bacillary dysentery and all about anthrax (don't mess with it folks, that shit is scary AND naturally occurring) and I cross my fingers that my memory B cells and T helper cells still continue to kick antigen ass! My nutrition class was pretty interesting too. I learned more than I ever thought I'd need to know about Iron and all about calcium absorption, amongst several other little factoids. I am happy that classes are over, though. There's a sense of being able to really breathe when you take your last final and can read for fun again!

Speaking of reading for fun, I'm currently reading Julia Child's memoir My Life in France, and I'm in love with Julia Child!! She didn't marry until she was 34 and she was 37 before she found out what she wanted to do with her life! 37!! And she's got spunk and moxie and I like ladies who have spunk and moxie! Perhaps I need to go and spend 4 years in France...I'm pretty sure my 2 years of high school French would be sufficient enough....mais oui!

Oh, Kevin, I have a book recommendation for you. I don't know if you've read it already, but definitely look into The Great Railway Bazaar by Paul Theroux. I've just barely started it (like a few chapters in), but I'm already kind-of in love with it! There's just something about his writing style that makes me wish I could see the world the way a writer does....they find the beauty and art in a simple glass of would be very interesting to see the world that way....

Saturday, October 10, 2009

No Woman No Cry

It's 10 o'clock on a Saturday. What else is there to do but listen to some Bob Marley and write a blog?!

We've had a lot of excitement around the Rockne household these past few weeks, allow me to give you the highlights....a delightful Cliff's Notes version if you will...

My dad was on tv during the Notre Dame game half-time last week. They were dedicating a sculpture of my great-grandfather at the stadium and my dad was there for the unveiling. I missed the appearance, as I was studying for a Microbiology test. I have been assured that my brother has it recorded on his DVR, so my father's moment of famous glorious will be available for my viewing at a later date.

Gavin had parent teacher conference. He and I went for a visit with his teacher, Mrs. Cobabe. Yes. Her name really is Cobabe. She's probably about 25, 26 and it must be very strange to be talking to parents that are a good 5-10 years older than she is. Gavin is doing exceptionally well and reading like a madman. He's onto chapter books and is a good little reader. We're currently in the process of reading far it's quite good and Mortimer is about to meet up with Capricorn...very exciting stuff.

We had to have our air ducts cleaned this week. Autumn has arrived in Cache Valley, bringing the cool weather and beautiful Fall colors with it. When I went to turn on the heat for the first time last week, a less than pleasant odor started emanating from the vents. My mom deduced that the smell was probably Gavin's pet hamster, Sprinkles, who had escaped from his cage a few months ago. I thought he had found his way outside, after the neighborhood kids had left the sliding glass door open all afternoon, and was living a free and happy life in an obliging field. It appears that he probably fell down my mother's vent (which was vent cover-less) and couldn't get back out and died. The kind technicians with ARS gave us the option of inspecting the garbage to see if Sprinkles' remains was amongst the debris. We politely declined. We are not telling Gavin. I think it's probably better that he picture Sprinkles running through a field of clover with the wind in his hair!

Gavin and I went on a date last night! The Tap Dogs were playing at the theatre, and Keri said that Gavin would probably enjoy it, so I used my staff perk of free tickets and went to the show. We sat on the first row and we had a pretty good time. Gavin only got restless a few times, which is quite an accomplishment. It made me miss Maggi's classes and learning how to tap without actually wearing tap shoes! I made a promise with myself, that when things mellow out and I have a little more expendable income, I'm going to go back to dance classes. How great would it be to be a dancin' granny?!

I bought my pre-advance tickets for New Moon yesterday morning!! Go ahead and mock and shake your head and think I'm lame. I don't care. Those books (and the subsequent movies) bring a little bit of joy to my life, so if you're going to begrudge me that, then maybe we shouldn't be friends anymore!! Annette, there is still time for me to buy you one and then you can stick around and have American Thanksgiving with me....think about it....pinatas!!

I'm trying to think of a way to cancel the Holidays. All they do is make me sad and stressed and frustrated....isn't the whole point of the Holidays to bring families together and make you remember how much you love everyone. It just makes me want to stab. Maybe I should become a Seventh Day Adventist. They don't believe in holidays. They don't believe in dancing either, come to think of it, but giving up shaking my ass in time to music would be worth it to me, that's how much I dislike the Holidays....seriously....I'm not kidding....

Chrizzie, I'm sorry to hear about the computer. I have heard that Apple is pretty great about replacing the music if you've downloaded it from doesn't make up for the hit to the wallet that it took to replace the hard drive, but it could be the silver lining on that cloud!

And Floodikins, I agree with you completely about Obama winning the Nobel Peace Prize.

I shall leave you with an actual quote from my kid. Just so you don't get confused--"frogging" is Gavin's way of saying "farting.":
"Mom. One time I burped and it smelled so bad it was like I frogged in my mouth!"
I proceeded to laugh so hard that I nearly peed in my pants....

Saturday, September 26, 2009

Nutella on toast....cut up into two, please!

Let me recreate the conversation I had with my son this morning, as I was making him nutella on toast.

Gavin: Mom. There's something I wanted to talk to you about.
Me: Ok. Go ahead.
Gavin: I want you to know that I love you for you. Not for how pretty you are or how funny you are or how smart you are, I love you just for you. I've wanted to tell you that for three days.
Me: **blink blink** Wow. Thank you!

I mean, what do you say to that?! It's without a doubt, one of the nicest things a boy has ever said to me and it came out of the mouth of my 6 year old son! I then told him that I loved him just for him too, but that he got the extra points because he had said it first!

These are the kinds of moments that make parenthood a little sweeter and that maybe, just maybe, I'm not effing the kid up as much as I think I am!

Sunday, September 20, 2009

...anyone and anything at all that's loved by you

I'm happy to report that the funk has lifted and I am feeling better. I don't like feeling blue, so I'm glad that it's gone. Thanks for the suggestion Quentie, but I think I'll keep my liver vodka-free, I know what it looks like cirrhosis-ized and besides, just the fumes from vodka makes my nose bleed!

I came to the realization the other day that I'm getting "old person" elbows. Do they do botox for elbows?

Thanks for the lovely advice the other day, Annette. Although, I must admit I was slightly distracted by the fact that his name was Ned! Ned? Seriously?!!

I went grocery shopping today (I had run out of 100 calorie pack Pringles and Oscar Meyer deli luncheon meats) and as I was walking my basket to the car I passed a truck that had a sticker on the back window. It read: Happiness Is ___________. The part actually telling me what happiness is was rubbed away, but it instantly reminded me of the song from Good Man Charlie Brown about happiness being two kinds of ice cream and climbing a tree. Then that got me thinking about what I thought happiness is....I spent the better part of the afternoon compiling my list, it is as follows:

Happiness Is....

The first perfect red apple of the season.
Listening to my son read.
Breaking the spine on a new book.
Friends who tell me I'm beautiful and funny and smart, even though I know they're only saying it because they're my friends.
My raspberry beret.
Pop Music.
Car dancing to aforementioned pop music.
Waking up some place that isn't home.
Road Trips.
Putting my belt on the second notch.
Listening to my son sing when he thinks no one is around.
Learning something new.
Knowing I made a difference.
Hans' Macaroni & Cheese.
Snapple Peach Ice Tea.
Laughing so much my cheeks and stomach hurt.
Sitting in comfortable silence.
Hooooot Choocoolate!
Days off.
Not burning dinner!
Washing my face and taking out my contacts at the end of a long day.
Seeing my friends have successes in their lives.
The feeling of just flossed teeth.
Knowing that regardless of what happened today, tomorrow is new and full of possibilities.

Those are just some of them....there are more....but I thought 250+ Happiness Is would get tedious to you, my gentle readers and friends! So. It's your turn....I'd love you hear what you think happiness is!

Friday, September 11, 2009

Why don't I have a cool nickname like Bootsy?!!!

It's approaching midnight (when I started writing anyway). I have a case of the can't-sleeps and I've been feeling emotional and pensive for the last couple of days. The combination of the three is NOT a good thing. I've been feeling in a "funk" the last couple of days and not of the George Clinton you see what I did was a play on funk in the capacity of George Clinton and that he is a "funk" musical artist....I suppose it takes away the cleverness when I point it out and then explain it....moving on....anyway, as I was saying, I've been feeling a sinking malaise the last couple of days and I'm finding it difficult to pull myself out of it. I'm not even completely sure why I'm feeling this is fine, school is going well, the kid is the same as he ever is...although, I tried to teach him to ride his bike without the training wheels on Monday and he was having none of it! He started crying like I was beating him while we were in the front yard and then told me he'd like to stop because he was afraid of being "crumpled" and that he wanted to wait until he was older to learn to ride his bike without the training wheels....I figure when he's ready to learn he'll let me know....but for the life of me I've been feeling wah-wah....I think it probably has to do with the fact that I haven't worked out for a week and I miss the endorphins....that, or I'm moving on the fast path to becoming Miss Havisham!

I read a story of a 79 year old granny who was diagnosed with terminal cancer, but instead of wallowing and feeling sorry for herself, she made herself a "Bucket List" and is kicking Life in the ass...she just finished skydiving. As inspiration, I have decided that I need to make a Bucket List and start checking things off, because, let's face it, I'm not getting any younger and life isn't about living forever, it's about who you meet and the adventures you have! I will NOT be adding skydiving to my list, however, that shit is crazy!

I would just like to take a moment and write a few open letters, if I may, and I can, because it's my blog:

Dear Girls of Utah State--If you stand up and more than an inch and a half of your tummy hangs over the top of your pants, please just buy a bigger size. Don't be shy. Trust me, you'll look thinner and therefore more attractive to the gentlemens...but don't look TOO thin, I read an article the other day about how men view women with "a little meat on their bones" as being friendlier and more attractive.


Dear Extremely White Guy Who Runs Past Me On Campus Everyday As I'm Walking Back To My Car--Please put your shirt back on. It's not THAT hot and your sweaty pectorals unnerve me.


Dear Girl Who Sits Next To Me And Audibly Sighs EVERY 5 Seconds and Then Talks To Her Friend--Listen sweetheart, if this is so boring, and everything Andy is saying is so tedious, LEAVE. You're just angering me, well, you and the dude who keeps kicking my chair and the girl who keeps clicking the top of her pen. Seriously. I realize this information might not be new to you, but the last time I learned about the Golgi Apparatus was like 12 years ago, I'm a little rusty, so shut the hell up or move it along.


Can anybody help me remember how to do fractions?! I had to determine multiple servings for a Nutrition assignment and couldn't remember how it all worked!! Annette has already graciously agreed to teach me metric the way, WHY in the world are we still teaching our kids inches and cups?!! I shouldn't, as a grown-up, have to ask my Canadian friend how many mL are in a cup....I feel like my Elementary and Middle School education was sorely lacking in helping me be competitive in the world of maths and sciences!

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

I'm an eukaryote.

School started this week for the kid and myself. He was VERY excited to finally start, although he's a little disappointed in the fact that he only has ONE recess. I had my first Microbiology lab on Monday. I looked at bacteria and amoebas under a microscope--it was actually a lot of fun and I signed up to do a report of Fifth Disease! I learned today in class that smallpox has been eradicated in modern society and as a result if terrorist were ever able to get their hands on a strain of smallpox (stealing it from one of the 2 labs that have it) for chemical warfare, they could fundamentally kill the entire world population--minus those people who are members of the military and have been inoculated. I'm pretty sure that this class is going to turn me into Howard Hughes. Dearest A will you be kind enough to leave me bottles of milk and sandwiches outside my door?!

Kevin, bear with me, this will go somewhere. I don't know if you're familiar with a movie called Girls Just Wanna Have Fun. It stars a young Sarah Jessica Parker as a girl who just wants to dance and her military yes sir no sir father won't let her, eventually he sees that she was born to dance and no longer has a problem with her reaching for her dream. Anyway, there is a part in that movie where SJP and her friend (an even younger Helen Hunt) make copies of a debutante party invitation and give it out to all the unsavories (lady muscle builders *HORROR*) and they all crash and zaniness ensues! When I read your comment, I thought about how YOU were the unsavory!! Also, I'd like an update on the department, too!

Lillith--I didn't get a chance to tell you how cute you and your bump are! I hope he's being kind to you. And congrats on not having to clean up the poo!

Briskey--I know this is late, but I happen to LOVE and ADORE Tim Gunn. He is NOT creepy. And if he weren't gay I would happily marry him. Although, come to think of it, if he weren't gay he'd probably be an ass, so....

Quentie!! I'm glad that you've found me! My mom asked what you were up to the other day. I told her that you were probably harassing Just Jan and wearing womens shoes!

Oh! And is there any polite way to offer a mint to the dude sitting behind you in class who every time he exhales he sends a toxic cloud of awful breath into my nostrils?

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

A long overdue update!! For you Briskey!!

According to Ann-ette's "Blogs I Read" list, I haven't updated my blog for 3 weeks!! That's a long time! A lot has actually happened in those last 3 weeks! Allow me to share a few of the events:

1. My brother and his lovely wife had a little baby boy on the 28th of July. I met him this weekend. He's adorable and tiny and the most mellow baby ever! I was worried that when I held him that I would get the baby pang and start to want to have another one. I am happy to report that did NOT happen and my "no more babies" stance is still holding strong.

2. I finished with my Human Anatomy class on the 31st of July. I ended up getting a 'B'! I was ecstatic about it and Megs congratulated me on surviving the class and doing well by buying me a Funnel Cake Making Kit! I actually REALLY enjoyed the class and I learned an obscene amount of information. My next classes are Microbiology and Nutrition. So now not only will I be afraid to leave the house because of the germs I'll be learning about, I'll also be afraid to eat anything because of the calories!!

3. Gavin is getting so big. He starts 1st grade in a couple of weeks and he has friends and is doing more and more for himself. It's surreal to realize that he's nearly 7. I don't feel any older, but the wrinkles on my forehead beg to differ!!

3a. I had my first real "boy" experience with my son this weekend. We were driving to Salt Lake to visit and he informed me that he had to pee. As we were in the middle of Sardine Canyon and there were no obvious bathrooms and he was REALLY starting to the do the pee-pee dance, I pulled over to the side of the road and he peed in a bush!! I now realize that I have crossed a threshold with Gavin and he is now officially more boy than baby.

4. I have decided that if I knew that broken hearts took this long to heal, I would have avoided the whole situation to begin with!!

5. Briskey--Megs and I have decided that your blog is the highlight of our sad, sad existence. We especially enjoy your severe dislike of Cruz Beckham and Kristen Stewart. And your trying to remember what the African country Namibia was today killed me!! I miss you. Can we please bring back our weekly post-mortems of ANTM?

6. Chrizzie--I LOVE the new hair! I always thought you looked so sassy with the short hair!

7. Ann-ette--I've decided that you and I should write a pamphlet on what to do when you survive Nuclear Winter. I think step one should be "Don't Panic," followed by step two "Don't eat douchebags" I think it would be a valuable public service.

8. Sister--I'm so proud of you! Keep doing what you're doing and you'll get there before you know it!!

9. Kevin--I know this is random and totally a different medium, but your profile picture on Facebook is priceless!! Please tell me you were a maitre'd in a restaurant and they made you wear the monkey suit!!

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Fit and Trim

Well, it's Wednesday. Wednesday tends to be a good day, for several reasons.

1. It's the middle of the week. Which means the weekend, and spending the entirety of it in my pajamas, is only 2 days away.

2. It's Midweek Madness on Jezebel. A recap of all the weekly tabloids without actually having to buy any of them....I mean, who has $3 to spend on the magazine that says Kristen Stewart is pregnant with Rob Pattinson's baby?!

3. It's the one day of the week that I don't make myself do homework. I give myself Wednesdays off, or I'll get anatomy burn-out.

4. It's So You Think You Can Dance night!!! Oh friends. I simply adore this show. Although I'm not as attached to the dancers this season as I was to last season(Joshua! Katie! Twitch! Gev!), I still get nerdily excited to see what everybody is going to dance. I developed a bit of a dance crush on Jason after this evening's performances. He kinda came out of no where for me. Maybe it's because I wasn't terribly fond of Caitlin and would often glaze over when they would dance as partners for the first few weeks. It will be interesting to see who gets the axe tomorrow.

Oh, while I'm talking about there's a new show coming to Fox called "More to Love." I keep seeing the commercials for it during SYTYCD. Essentially it's The Bachelor for fatties. Yep. A collection of overweight women are competing to win the love of one portly gentleman. Now. Usually I would be very "hooray" about something like this....I think it's time that society realizes that women are all shapes and sizes and non-size 2s deserve a chance at happiness and love. However, this show doesn't seem like that at all. The commercial is one fat girl after another crying about how being fat has kept them from finding love. I don't like it. I don't like the exploitation of insecure women. I suppose I should watch the first episode before I pass judgment, but having to watch women throw themselves at a man makes me angry, uncomfortable and did I mention angry. Ladies, what's so wrong with being single? I know sometimes it can get lonely, but really, is your self-respect and dignity worth it?

Oh, and Annette & I was sitting in class and I looked over to my left and there, sitting down a row and a few seats over from me was Cute Tall Heather!! It could have been someone else, I kinda panicked and didn't look at her again to really see, but I was pretty sure it was her. From what I could see, she was still Cute and Tall, which made me instantly catty and insecure. You know. There are just people who are able to do that and she was always that person for me. But then I remember that she wouldn't watch Waiting for Guffman because it had an 'R' rating and just sat in Floodikins kitchen, while we all watched it and I didn't feel quite so lame! I know. That's a catty statement, but who does that?!!

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

A couple of the sounds that I really like are the sounds of a switchblade and a motorbike.

I'm sorry, Lillith, but snow boarding is only slightly better for your joints, but far worse for the prospect of fracturing your coccyx or femur. Ouch either way! Also, congratulations on making it to the 2nd trimester. I hope it treats you better than the 1st!

And Shannon....Brian's Shannon! I remember you! And you were delightful, just as Annette said! And Briskey, be nice!

Also, Briskey, just for the record, it is NOT fair to hold a Daisy Dukes party. Boys always seem to have prettier legs than girls AND they don't have pesky cellulite....there's nothing more depressing than to be jealous of your gay friend's legs!

I put a new playlist on my iPod last night. I know it's lame to say, but I love new playlists, especially when I put it on Shuffle and I'm like, "what's gonna play next?!" Every new song is like a little Christmas surprise!

Oh. One last thing. What would you think if a guy told you his favorite movie is The Notebook? Please give your opinions in the comments, I'd like to see if my thoughts about this tid-bit are "normal" amongst my blog readers!!

Monday, June 29, 2009

Many People See Zebras Falling Like Elephants

I had my second Human Anatomy exam today. I wore my Sparkly pink barrette of Mystical Test Taking Powers and put a polite request into the wax baby jesus, so we'll see how things went. I try to remind myself that the point isn't the grade of the class, but the information I'm learning. Ok. So I can't remember the name of the ritual performed by the ancient Incans to remove the human heart in a quick and timely fashion (that was an actual question on the test this morning), but I know that the mandible is made up of the body, rami, angle, mandibular & mental foramen, mandibular condyle, mandibular notch and coronoid process (which is a site of attachment for your masseter muscle)....I know that the mandibular condyle articulates with the mandibular fossa on the inferior portion of the temporal bone and makes up the temporomandibular joint which is actually 2 synovial diarthrotic joints (this is part of the reason that some people, mostly women, have problems with their TMJ) and is a 3rd class lever system. It's not the grade that matters, it's the information that I'm learning and I'm learning A LOT!

I've started to work out again. It's been about 9 months since I've "worked out" (other than walking to work) and I realized that I missed the routine of going and spending an hour listening to Britney and sweating out the stress on the elliptical. I've also learned from my anatomy class, that as a woman, one of the best ways to keep my bones strong and healthy and keep osteoporosis and broken hips (which is actually a misnomer, because you don't break your hip, you break the neck of your femur...) at bay is to participate in moderate exercise. I've also learned that running and skiing are just the about the worst thing you can do to your joints and I intend to spend the remainder of my life avoiding an unhappy triad!!

Welcome mystery non-psycho blog reader! I really hope that I was nice to you while we had classes together at USU....I went through a stage of being slightly self-absorbed and I really hope I wasn't rude! I tried to look on YOUR blog for a clue about your identity, but I couldn't find one....on a side note, I TOTALLY agree with you about the acrylic nails!

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Do these pants make my ass look fat?!!

A little story:

Gavin had reached the point where he was starting to smell like a puppy. As a mother it's my job to get him into the shower and as a kid it's his job to stall actually having to get wet. I'm not sure why this is. I mean, it can't feel good to be that dingy and stinky, but it's like a small defeat every time he has to scrub off that layer of grim. After about 10 minutes of trying to get him into the shower and he was trying to stall...I warned him that I was about to get angry...he quickly started telling me that I was the prettiest girl in the world and the best girl in the whole world and he wouldn't trade me for anything, etc. etc. etc. We then had this conversation.

Me: I think you're saying all those things to placate me.
Him: Well, the prettiest girl one, yes, the best girl one, no.
Me: So you were lying to me when you said I was the prettiest girl?
Him: You're the half-prettiest.
Me: Wait. What does even mean? "Half-prettiest"?!
Him: (Holding his arms out as a measurement tool for measuring prettiness) This is prettiness and you're half.
Me: Ok. So what is it about me that makes me only the half-prettiest.
Him: Things. But I'm not going to tell you.

I must admit it hurt my feelings for a moment--every mom wants their son to think they're the prettiest girl, but then I just laughed and realized that my son, at six, had already learned the valuable lesson of lying to a woman....

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

I'm never eating beef jerky again....

I survived my first Lab Exam. I think I did ok. I bought myself a pink glittery barrette and decided to imbue it with mystical testing taking skills, so I wore it today. Hopefully, all the imbuing did it's job and I did well!

I also survived my first experience with the cadavers today. We're learning the muscles, so there were two skinned bodies for us to study. One for the posterior side (the back of your body) and one for the anterior side (the front side of your body). Them being skinned helped me a little, as I didn't actually see the person's face, just the muscles underneath. So far my favorite muscle has to be the's the muscle that controls the ability for a trumpet player to play his trumpet. Eventually, I'll need to be able to name the major muscles, where they originate, where they attach on the body and their "job"....I'm pretty sure I'm going to either kick some muscle ass or have a muscle-induced nervous breakdown!

After attending the funeral of our House Manager (she was diagnosed with Stage 4 pancreatic cancer in February) yesterday, I have decided that I am ANTI-funerals. They just seem so cruel and unnecessary. I realize the whole purpose is to provide closure for those left behind, but I fail to see the appeal in making the children, who have just lost their mother, and the husband, who has just lost the love of his life, get up and talk about how great she was. Everybody who knew her knew she was a great woman! Besides, I'm too soon as I see someone crying, I'm gone and I don't particularly like making the ugly cry face in a room full of partial strangers.

I shouldn't like Tori Spelling & Dean McDermott as much as I do. I feel partially guilty about it. I mean, they're just so cute together and you see them and see how in love they are with each other and how "perfect" they seem to fit together....and then you remember that they were both married when they met and that they cheated on their respective spouses to be together....but that doesn't seem to matter because they're just so damn cute together. See. Guilt.

Saturday, June 20, 2009

A Few Things....

1. When your child is old enough to walk without it taking hours to get from one place to the other, it's time to put the stroller away. I saw a mom pushing her 8 year old in a stroller at Summerfest today.

2. Why does it always seem like the people who should stop talking (i.e. people dumber than boxes of hair) are never the ones who stop talking? It makes me want to stab things in my eyeball.

3. June is nearly over. We've had maybe 5 days of sunshine so far. I'm totally ok with this. I hate the heat.

4. No, Brian, it wasn't a penis. If it had been, I would've sent you a picture from my camera phone with a totally inappropriate message.

5. Congratulations on the success of your play, Annette. I'm waiting patiently for your theatrical adaptation of the Greg & Danny Show!

6. I think I have test anxiety. I go to take the test and I start to itch and get all blotchy and then I get amnesia and I can't remember anything. Then, as soon as I turn in my test and leave the room, I can remember EVERYTHING. It's very frustrating.

7. Taking my anatomy class is making me scared to leave the house! There are so many really awful things that can happen to you. I don't want an acromioclavicular separation!!

Monday, June 15, 2009

Your endochondral ossification is showing.....

So I've successfully navigated my first week in my Human Anatomy class. We had our first test today on Intro to anatomy, the integumentary system and bone & connective tissues...did I mention that I've only been in class for a week?! I think I did alright, not stupendous, but not horrible either....luckily, I can drop my lowest test score and now I know what to expect from the tests....and knowledge, as they say, is power...

I'm actually enjoying the class and Dr. Anderson, my professor is a pretty cool cat. Within the first hour of lecture on the first day of class he showed us several pictures of himself when he was younger (the moustaches were awesome!) a picture of Raquel Welch (so that we would have a point of reference when she showed up in the story problems on our exams--this made me feel old as I realized that there were fellow baby-students who really had now idea who she was), a picture of Kate Beckinsale in Underworld, two gunshot wounds and a man who was stabbed in his thoracic cavity with a kitchen knife!

I also survived my first anatomy lab which involved hanging out in the cadaver lab. We haven't had to view the actual bodies yet, but we did have to sit around with them on their tables in their body bags....I think they're trying to acclimatize us to the idea of being around the bodies. Above each bodies is a whiteboard that contains their name, the date they died, how old they were, the cause of death and their occupation at the time of death. I hung out with Isabella, an 87 year old homemaker who died of natural causes, as I learned about the axial skeleton. I'm not creeped out by the bodies...I'm more fascinated than heebed, but I know I'm going to have a hard time separating the person from the body....I just can't seem to make not myself think about the family they left behind and the fact that they woke up one morning, ate some cereal, kissed their wife, went off to work and then had a heart attack....I feel like a voyeur. Annette's Mike gave me the excellent piece of advice to focus on only what I need to learn from the lesson. Hans then told me I should pretend they're all hobos. I'm thinking maybe I'll take a combination of both approaches to not end up barfing!

So, a story for you all. As I was sitting, learning the bones of the skull & vertebrae, I glanced up from my notes and saw a clear plastic bin filled with liquid sitting on one of the cadaver tables. And floating in that liquid was a pair of blue eyes STARING AT ME! I realized then that I should get used to seeing odd things floating in liquids. I'm not even going to tell you what was in the bin next to it!!

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Know when to walk away. Know when to run.

Gavin is officially on Summer Vacation! He had his final assessment on Monday and he's still a smarty. I'm hoping that he survives the summer without my mother locking him in a closet...he's already bored and it's only been a week!

The named the Top 20 for So You Think You Can Dance. I'm a little saddened that they didn't let both of the Krazinski/Kawasaki/Crastaphari brothers on the show. I think they both deserved the chance....I mean, they have 2 b-boys on the show this year and a handful of contemporary dancers, too, so why not make room for two Gene Kellys! I am very excited to see how they do next week....I'm thinking Tony is going to be in a little over his head and will spend a great deal of time crying in the men's toilet...

I made an appointment to get my hair cut on Saturday. It's time for a change. I just feel like I'm not the same person I was and this curtain of strawberry blond hair has gotta go. I'll probably sob when she cuts it, but it's time.

Lillith, they'll continue to look a little blobby until they don't...then they'll be able to do that whole creepy 3-D thing and your baby will look like a used car salesman. And good luck with the move!

And Katie...I knew it was you! Welcome to my blog!

And Briskey...I hope you have the best time in Florida!!

Thursday, May 28, 2009

You gotta know when to fold 'em...

Gavin lost his first tooth this weekend! He was unaware that he had lost it until Hans pointed it out to him. We never actually found the tooth. We're not entirely sure where it is, but all signs point to him having swallowed it...whoops! The Tooth Fairy brought him two dollars, irregardless! He was ecstatic. TWO WHOLE DOLLARS!! I, of course, started sobbing when I realized that the kid is growing up and there is nothing I can do to stop it! I hate to admit it, but I have a sinking suspicion that I'm going to be doing that a lot in the future...

I took my final for my Medical Terminology course yesterday. I did pretty well. It was a relief to know that this 30 year-old brain still works and hasn't been turned into some sort of goop after pregnancy, 6 years of motherhood and 6 years of still not sleeping through the night! Now it's on to Human Anatomy & Human Physiology this summer. Gulp!

I am pleased by the return of one of my favorite shows of all time--So You Think You Can Dance!! Right now it's just in the audition phase and I don't have any particular favorites, but the joy this show brings to my life is absolute bliss! I can't wait until Mia Michaels shows up!

And Lisa, welcome to my blog!! And I know EXACTLY what you mean by being a blog-stalker...when I would get bored I used to just random search blogspot to read stranger's's kinda amazing the things people will write about themselves...I once stumbled upon one where a conservative Christian woman was writing about how she wasn't in love with her husband anymore, but that she was trying to save her marriage by having sex with the aforementioned husband for 60 days straight and was going to record the day to day processes of trying to fall back in love with her husband. Of course, I can't remember the name of the blog now, so I have no idea if Sexy Boom Boom Time for 2 months saved the marriage or not...sigh...

I read an article the other day that after documenting and studying 66,000 births that men are the weaker sex. Not strength wise, but in general life they're weaker. Men have shorter life spans and are less resistant to stress and infection, making us ladies the winners! So, Double XXs, I tip my lady hat to, would somebody open this jar for me?!!

Sunday, May 17, 2009

Binary Solo

After much thought and consideration I have decided to go back to school and get my Practical Nursing degree (it's not an RN degree...I don't quite have the time to dedicate to that yet, but that's ultimately where I'm heading). I realized that I was the happiest when I was taking care of my ailing grandpa and that life is too short to not do what makes me happy. Right now I'm just doing the pre-requisites for the program, which will take me until Spring '10, since I'm doing all of them online, independent study, night courses and still working full time. I'll apply for the program this time next year and will hopefully be accepted to the program and begin it in the Fall of 2010. It seems like a very long journey to even get to the program, but it's what I want to do and I'm ready to do it. I already feel like I've wasted years of my life working to 'pay the bills' and I don't want to do that anymore. I figured I should probably explain why I won't be blogging much, as I have the sinking suspicion that all my free time is going to be filled with Human Anatomy and learning about gram-stain resistant diplococci.

I'm sorry you're feeling so unwell, Lillith. I was extremely lucky and beyond the first few weeks of pregnancy, I didn't have any morning sickness with Gavin. I would recommend drinking Coke Slurpees....there's something in the Coke syrup that is supposed to help with hurty tummies and the slush factor of a slurpee can instantly make anyone feel better...unless of course sweet things make you want to that case, I would recommend NOT actually trying it!! But take heart, I read an article that found a correlation between bad morning sickness and a higher intelligence in the birthed, you might just be carrying the next Albert Einstein! And don't make deals with the Pregnancy Fates. They NEVER keep up their end of the bargain!

Gavin and I were watching Best Week Ever on VH1 yesterday and a commercial for Daisy of Love came on...for those of you who don't know, Daisy of Love is a reality tv show where men compete for the affections of Daisy de la Hoya, a rejected suitor from Rock of Love with Bret Michaels. She's fake tits and fake hair and fake tan and not exactly classy. Anyway, when the commercial came on I turned to Gavin and told him that he was not to date any skanky girls and that he needed to date someone who had a brain and had opinions and was smart and funny. He then turned to me and said, "a girl like you." I nearly cried. That was the nicest thing that anyone has ever said to me and it came out of the mouth of a six year old!

Monday, May 11, 2009

Like a greased pig...

Gavin & I went the demolition derby this weekend. It. Was. AWE-SOME! They had a band that played all the rocking-est Classic rock tunes (Sweet Home Alabama, anyone?!) and the cars were ridiculous. It was as white trash as you could get (they had a greased pig contest for heaven's sakes), but he and I had the best time and he spent yesterday playing “derby” with his hot wheels…well, when he wasn’t pretending to be a dog.

A friend’s father was killed last week. It was a freak accident and completely unexpected. By all accounts he was a kind man who loved the church, his wife and his family. I was thinking about his wife as I was walking to work this morning. I was wondering how does someone ever recover from that—losing your husband? How do you wake up in the morning and go about your day knowing that the bed is going to be empty and the dirty socks aren’t going to be on the bathroom floor and you’re cooking for one now? How do you fight against the darkness that could any moment suck you in and never let you back out again? And even more, how do you get out once it does?

For Mother’s Day, my son gave me a picture he drew at school. The picture was of me and on the backside it had a little list of reasons I’m great. I think my favorite was the last line that said “I don’t know why I love her, I just do.” It’s funny, but that kinda encapsulates the way I feel about him, too. I think that is the only explanation you can give when you truly love someone…you don’t know why…in fact, there might be a few things that drive you crazy about them, but it doesn’t matter, because you just do.

Thanks for the advice Briskey. And I promise to call you sometime when I don’t have a problem!

Congratulations on the play, Ann-ette! That is VERY exciting. I’m very proud of you. I wish I could come and see it. But why such a serious topic?! Couldn’t you write a sweet, light play about two friends who eat too much bow-tie pasta…you could call it the Greg & Danny Show!

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

A poker right up my nasal cavity should do it.

Ya know what I would love? I would love to be able to go an entire day without constantly being reminded of Scott! I can't escape! It's like he's everywhere! Just in reading some online articles, and all within the space of 15 minutes, I was confronted with Iron Maiden (his favorite band), The Shawshank Redemption (his favorite movie), and Dexter (his favorite tv show)!! It's like the Universe is trying to fuck with me!! I'm desperately trying to move on, to not cry about him and it's fucking IMPOSSIBLE!!! He's out of my life and beyond that, he's on the other side of the country and over a friendly border and he's still around!!! I'm inches away from lobotomizing myself...sure, I'd be Jack Nicholson in One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest...but at least I wouldn't have to feel like a 14-year old girl all the fucking time!! I HATE THIS FEELING. BAH.

Saturday, May 2, 2009

The Distant Future. The Year 2000.

I was commanded by Sister to write a new blog, so here it is....I cannot guarantee that it will be exciting or worth-reading...boy, I sure just encouraged you to want to continue reading didn't I?!

First let me begin by congratulating Annette and Mike on the arrival of their little one. I am VERY happy that he finally made an appearance, because frankly, I was starting to worry about poor Annette's mental state. I'd also like it noted that I not only picked the correct gender for said baby, but I also picked the correct date of his birth. That's right, losers, I was awesome and you were ALL lame. See. This is what happens when you Google "which day of the week are most babies born on" and you pick that day. There's nothing Google can't do. I'm convinced that Google is close to creating the cure for cancer, ending the violence in Darfur AND eventually world peace....that's a lot for a search engine, but I have faith.

Speaking of faith, I've been asking the Wax Baby Jesus for a few things--the WBJ is this little cast iron figurine I picked up when I was in Prague last spring...sigh....and whenever I need a little help from the Universe I ask him for things. Anyway, he didn't let me down and I'm feeling happier and more at ease than I have in the last few months. Things are brighter and sunnier...just the way I like's like a Bob Marley song really. I believe he may also take requests, so if anybody needs anything, I'd be happy to pass the request on to the WBJ.

I can't believe that it's May already. 2009 seems to be moving at a break-neck speed. I know I can't be the only one that feels that way. Although, I'm ready for some warmer weather....NOT the 900 degrees I know it's about to become, because Spring does not exist in Logan anymore...but a sunny 70 degrees would be lovely.

I still can't stop eating Cinnamon Toast Eggos and drinking Peach Iced Tea...only Snapple has discontinued their PIT, so now I've moved onto Lipton. I don't know why, but I can't help myself. It's like food crack to me!

Well, friends, I'm going to go. Gavin and I are about to play a game where I chase him around the house until I eventually end up being the "rotten egg" and then he gloats about being the winner and I get aggravated and tell him I'm not going to play with him anymore if he's going to be like that and then he cries because I've somehow hurt his feelings. So, really, just a typical night at our house! Lillith and Annette, look what you have to look forward to!!

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Four More...

First--Annette, I REALLY hope that Alien Fetus Baby has made an appearance and that is the reason why you're incommunicado and NOT because you've had some sort of pre-birth psychotic break and you're lying in a darkened room listening to The Smiths and eating Totino's Pizzas.

Second--Congratulations, Lillith!!! I'm so happy for you! I'm always happy to welcome another poor sap into the motherhood club. You poor have no idea what you've gotten yourself into...and willingly!! Also, I don't think you should name them Edward or Bella. I think you must embrace the Mormon tradition so beautifully captured in Breaking Dawn and combine the names of your loved ones to come up with new "names"....for example, you could combine Bear with Kevin and name your son Bearvin or combine Annette and me for Amatte....just think of the beautiful possibilities, Lillith!!

Third--I downloaded Pink's Funhouse album off iTunes. Bad. I. Dea. About halfway through a listen I had to fast forward to the next playlist on my iPod to avoid sobbing. Definitely the wrong head space.

Fourth--the other day I was asking Gavin to get me things (it's one of the perks of having a kid who's old enough to understand instructions...just wait Lillith and Annette...bliss), well I guess I had asked him to do too many things for me because he looked at me and said, "Mom. I will NOT do your bidding." I laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed. He's just so unbearably funny!

Thursday, April 23, 2009

....and 4

4. Of course I will still love you and be your friend, Briskey! It's going to take a lot more than a fight about a Scottish woman's eyebrows to tear you and me apart! And just for the record, I never said that the whole thing with Susan Boyle wasn't overrated...and Sister, how can you NOT know who Susan Boyle is?!! You have the capabilities to watch YouTube on your iTouch for pete's sake!!

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

1, 2, 3

Just a few things:

1. Lillith, my suggestion for the Austen book to start with is Persuasion. It's just such a beautiful story, it's a pretty easy read (sometimes Austen stories can seem a bit long-winded) and then when you get finished with it watch the BBC version with Amanda Root and Ciaran, love, love it!

2. I'm creeped out by the Quizno commercial. You know the one with the oven talking like HAL from 2001: A Space Odyssey. It creeps me out that he tells the Quizno Sandwich Guy to "put it in me." Heebs. Heebs. And Heebs.

3. The Drowsy Chaperone is performing in the theatre tonight and tomorrow. I met their company director at dinner tonight and it turns out that he's friends with Brooklynn Pulver, who will forever be Brooke or Tank Top Girl. It was a further example that the world of theatre is a very small place.

Friday, April 17, 2009

In defense of Susan Boyle

Allow me to share my views on Susan Boyle. Here we go.

Ms. Boyle, or "man brows" as Briskey has so lovingly nicknamed her, was probably a shy and socially awkward girl. She was probably the D.U.F.F. in her group of friends, and while her friends were meeting boys, going on dates and getting married, she was at home, with her cat, singing in the church choir and caring for her ailing mother. She's probably never had a man tell her she's beautiful. She probably doesn't know what if feels like to not be rejected. Until now.

Sure. Her voice may not be the greatest and when her 15 minutes are up, she'll probably go back to her cat and singing in the church choir, but for this one shining moment in her life she finally knows what it feels like to not be laughed at or made fun of, and who would begrudge someone that feeling?

So, you'll have to excuse me, friends, if I find a little joy in Ms. Boyle and the fact that this dowdy, middle-aged Scottish woman's dreams are coming true.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Snow, Slayer, Stress & Sad

So, when I said I'd like it to rain enough that I could wear my galoshes, I didn't mean for it to rain for 24+ hours and then morph into snow. This is NOT Spring appropriate.

The Walk/Don't Walk sign on 4th North & 2nd East that I pass everyday walking to and from work, the Don't Walk Hand's middle finger is burned out. I secretly wish everyday that the ring finger and the thumb will burn out too and then it'll make Slaaaaaaaayeeeerrrrrrr. That would bring a little joy to my heart.

I think stress is making me old. I have some pretty hardcore wrinkles forming on my forehead. I'm convinced that it's stress. Although, now that I mention it, it could be because EVERY expression I have is some how tied to my forehead and the wrinkles might be a reaction to that. Ok. That's it. No more expressions. It'll be like Botox-free paralysis. That reminds me of an episode of Coupling (the British version, not the lame American one) where the red-haired character talks about how she's getting older and as a result she's saving expressions for the men she actually finds attractive, no wasting the good stuff on the duds.

There was an letter to the editor in the Herald Journal yesterday from a man who wanted to know why women just couldn't be upfront and honest about whether they liked the men they went on dates with instead of lying or saying they're "too busy." Evidently he went on a date with a woman and thought they had connected and had a great time and then she wouldn't return his calls or texts and when he ran into her, she said she had been busy and when he pushed the issue she said "we're through" and he felt like she owed him an explanation for why she wasn't into him. I mean, I'll be the first to admit that I'm a little pathetic in the love department, even more so recently, but I would never write a letter to the editor about it. Even I'm not that sad! Maybe the fact that he was willing to embrace the crazy and write a letter to the editor should be his first clue that maybe he's a little intense and most girls don't like to hook it up with the crazy!!

And Kevin, for the record, I always enjoyed hearing your stories. If I could vote for the nickname based on that alone it would be Papa AWE-SOME!

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Raindrops keep fallin' on my head...

It's been raining pretty steadily since 1am this morning. Huzzah I say! I was finally able to wear my recently procured rain galoshes. I'd been wanting a pair of "wellingtons" for a while and bought myself a pair at the Target about a month ago, but the weather hadn't been rainy enough to necessitate them. Well. Today was definitely rainy enough and I wore them when I walked to work this morning. It was kinda awesome. Now all I need is a bright pink plastic raincoat and I'll be all set.

I watched a little Golden Girls last night. I'd forgotten how funny the episodes are. I aspire to be Sophia, but I'm pretty sure I'll be Dorothy....Bea Arthur here I come!

Kevin--Dr. Kevo?!

And Annette, what if I wanted to be my OWN Cool Rider? What if I came to the service station where you work, under the guise of needing gas, and offered to give you a ride, while people were honking and asking you for maps...would you fully support the motorbike riding then? What would they say if they knew is was Amanda?

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Is there such a thing as a Peeps hangover...'cause I think I might have one

Those little plastic Easter eggs have infiltrated my house. Hans played Easter Bunny this year and to say she went a little overboard would be an understatement. I'm sure it's gonna take the kid a few weeks to get through all the candy!

Gavin starts outdoor soccer tomorrow with his first practice. I'm not exactly sure how they convince a group of six years old to stay focused enough for practice or how they're going to convince Mother Nature to cooperate, although, I must say, today was lovely...but I have the sinking suspicion that it's going to get cold again and then all of a sudden it will be 900 degrees...ahhhh, the transition from Spring to Summer in Cache Valley!

And Kevin, thanks for taking the wind out of my motorbike sails! Granted, there is the distinct possibility that I'll go to take my first class, have a minor panic attack, lay the bike down and then decide maybe motorbikes aren't for me after all...but a girl's gotta try, right?!

I've been thinking lately and I've decided I don't think I want to have another relationship of a romantic nature again. I don't think this little heart of mine could handle another break-up and I don't think I could ever knowingly inflict this kind of soul-crushing pain on another person. Hans said that some relationships just end, mutually and amicably, but who wants to risk it? No. I think I'm going to happily put on my Spinster hat and wear it with pride.

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Apathy-Switch Engaged

Annette, I can't possibly guess the arrival of Alien Fetus Baby without knowing a few things first...ahem....whether or not you have a family history of early/late babies, whether AFB has dropped, and whether or not you're conferring with a Shaman/Voodoo Priestess in an attempt to get the kid out already.

Along those lines, I read an article about how parents have little to no influence on their children. That whether or not your kid turns out "okay" is based on peers and genetics. I'm not so sure I believe this. The parent/child dynamic is incredibly complex and although I don't think parents should blame themselves for the stupid decisions their kids make--I really do think experience and mistakes are the only way people learn, the only hope is that the mistakes aren't something they can't recover from--I do think parents can and do affect the way their children view the world and behave in it.

I've added another thing to my bucket list. I want to learn to ride a motorcycle and take an adventure...a la Easy Rider...only without the drugs and the rednecks and the getting beat to more like a Doris Day movie with motorbikes. There's a company in Salt Lake that teaches you to ride--they provide the bikes and gear and you just show up and learn how to not die. I'm going to have to wait a little bit to do it (other priorities to tend to right now), but I've put it on my radar and it's a goal I've made for myself.

Lillith, I'm glad that you've joined the Twilight's a happy place to be! I just finished Eclipse and will be starting on Twilight again (I lent my only copy of Breaking Dawn to my sister in law, although, to be honest, I only read the wedding/honeymoon section as the rest of the book makes my heart sad inside). I follow this pattern of finishing the books and then starting the series again and again. It's a lovely relaxation for my brain before I go to sleep and it brings a little joy to my life.

I've let the battery die on my cellphone. I find its silence to be cruel.

And Briskey, I read your Gay Truth Booth today. Mr. Watermelons sounds not very nice and I KNOW for a fact that you deserve better than being ignored...there's no way you'd allow this kind of behavior if I was the one enamored with Mr. fact, now that I think about it, he's a little too reminiscent of Cupcake Head for me, and you don't want to hitch your wagon to that falling star do you?! And I'm going to pretend the whole "unknown number" wasn't inspired by me!!

I shall leave you with one of the best lines of lyrical genius ever sung: "....'Cause I'm bluffin' with my muffin" Thank you, Lady GaGa. Thank you.

Sunday, March 29, 2009

The impossible IS possible. IF. YOU'RE. AWESOME!!!

A few observations concerning my life.

1. I have decided that I need to purchase a fringe-laden shirt and wear it whilst grocery shopping.
2. I had no idea there was such a thing as a 12-string guitar.
3. If you have the chance to see Arlo Guthrie live in concert, run, don't walk to the box office to purchase the tickets. His show last night was one of the best live shows I've ever seen. I spent two hours laughing and smiling and enjoying myself.
4. In addition to learning to play the guitar (just a normal, average 6 string, a la Bon Jovi not the aforementioned 12 string variety a la Lead Belly), I have decided that I want to be in a band and play the metal shaky egg...I know it probably has an actual name, but metal shaky egg is what I'm calling it and if you've got a problem with that, then maybe you should stop reading my blog.
5. I miss being able to sleep in and take naps.
6. I'm ready for the warm weather to get here. I actually hate the summer and the hot weather, but there's no place that's Autumn year round, and I'm over the snow, so scalding hot Augusts are you here yet?
7. I've decided that as soon as the weather warms up permanently (none of this week of 60s and then a week of 30s and snow) I'm going to cut my hair and donate it to Locks for Love. I have 13 inches of surplus that I'm ready to get rid of and it kinda makes me feel like Jo March and what girl doesn't wanna feel like Jo March once in her life?
8. I've come to the conclusion that a broken heart kinda feels like having a broken rib. On the outside everything looks fine, but sometimes the simple act of breathing is excruciating.
9. Having said that, each day gets a little easier.
10. And finally, I've decided that I'm taking the power back. (And thanks, again, Annette. I printed yours off and it's stuck to the mirror in my bathroom...)

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Each man in himself is everything

I don't like poetry. I don't like poets. I think it's a little self-grandizing and all very "look at how in touch with my emotions I am," but a few years ago, my sister introduced me to a poet by the name of Fernando Pessoa. His book The Book of Disquiet soon became a was one of those books that inspired me to highlight passages and dog ear pages and write in the margin, so when Annette asked today about inner poets, I instantly thought of him. I have a few favorite poems and stanzas from A Little Larger Than The Entire are a few:

Though I never taste glory and never
Receive love or due respect from others,
It will suffice that life be only life
And that I live it.
--May 26, 1917

I don't want the presents which,
Contrary to your intention, are
The very denial of what you give.
You give me what I'll lose,
Weeping its loss twice over,
As something of you and of me.

Promise it instead, without giving
Me anything, since then the loss
Will occur in my hopes
More than in my memory.

My only displeasure will be
The continual one of living,
Since the days pass and what's hoped for
Still doesn't come, and it's nothing.

--September 2, 1923

I encourage everyone to check out's a very lovely, beautiful book...and Annette, it'll give you something to do to distract yourself from the impending birth of the alien fetus! Also, I've been trying to read Jane Eyre, but I have a hard time sticking with it...I prefer to watch the Masterpiece Theatre version instead....ooooh, Mr. angsty and delicious.

My Coke Zero addiction has been replaced by a new obsession, Cinnamon Toast eggos. They're the most delicious things on the planet and I've taken to eating them for breakfast AND dinner. And the only reason I don't eat them for lunch is because we don't have a toaster at work!

And sister, you totally know the pickle song....I don't want a pickle/I just wanta ride on my motor-cicle/and IIIIIII don't wanna die/I just wanta ride on my motor/cy/cuhl...

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

You can call me Olga...

I was IMing with Flood yesterday and he realized that we have been friends for 10 years. It seems so long ago and yet, yesterday. I look at myself at 20 and marvel that he even agreed to be my friend...I was so shy and socially awkward, but I'm sure glad he did...he was my first real college friend and I can always count on him to tell me the absolute truth...he was also my first real grown-up crush and there will always be a soft spot in my heart for him...and thanks for all the kind words yesterday, Floodikins, they really meant a lot.

And Briskey, I totally intended to give a shout out to you, but I was trying not to dwell on things longer than they needed to be dwelled on and as a result, you were edited out...but thank you for all your song suggestions, a lot of them made it onto the CD and have kept me out of the women's toilet!

And thanks, Lillith, it's comforting to know that someone as wonderful and beautiful as you has been on the receiving end of a dumping and went on to find someone really great...I guess everybody has their Willoughby before they have their Colonel Brandon!

I've added two more things to my Bucket List. One. I want to learn to play the guitar. I've wanted to learn to play an instrument for a while now, it used to be the cello, but who has the time to learn to play the cello, and besides, the cello is a little difficult to schlepp around to sing fireside during camp-outs or use it to pretend that I'm Neil Diamond. And two. I want to go to Buenos Aires and spend a couple of weeks learning to dance the Argentine Tango. There are several tango schools that cater to "tourists" and they teach you the tango during the day and the evenings are spent dancing the night away at dance clubs. I suppose I should probably learn some Spanish beyond my 8th & 9th grade ability to ask what time is it (que hora es?), so I think that's Part B to that addition.

My dad is coming up on Saturday. He and I have a date to go see Arlo Guthrie at work. My parents used to sing the motorcycle pickle song to us kids when we were growing up, so it'll be nice to hear what it's supposed to sound like!

Sunday, March 22, 2009

Oh. Hello Pain. Yes, I know we have some business, but don't get too comfy, you're not going to be here long.

Well, gentle readers, some interesting things have happened since my last post:

1. My brother and his wife learned they are going to be having a little boy. They're going to name him Knute and my brother is campaigning pretty hard for the nickname "Knuckles." My dad wants "Tuffy," but I have a feeling "Knuckles" is going to win out in the end. God bless my patient sister in law, Jessica...she really does deserve some sort of prize.

2. My sister Krista turned 28! Congratulations on turning another year old, make 28 look goooood!

3. Poor Hans has viral pneumonia. She's been doing that cough until you gag thing for the last few weeks.

4. And after a year and a half of dating, Scott decided to end things with me. I won't go into details, but needless to say I didn't see it coming. I really did think I was going to spend the rest of my life with him and it hurt when he ended things. I've never really had a "break-up" relationship with Dustin was hardly a relationship, so it's been odd dealing with the aftermath. I think the hardest part is just retraining my brain: to not instantly add 3 hours onto the current time to determine what time it is in Nova Scotia, to not expect the call at 10:30am every morning to check-in and see how the day is going, and to not see something or have something happen and have my first response is "I need to call Scott." I've been reading 'It's Called a Break-up 'cause it's Broken' (it's written by the same guy who wrote He's Just Not That Into You) and it's been helping and I've taken the approach that the musical stylings of Kenny Loggins are going to get me through the heartache (really, try it, next time you're blue put on a little Kenny's fundamentally impossible to be melancholy while listening to the CaddyShack theme!). I decided that I'm not going to cry about it anymore. Sure it sucks. Sure it sometimes hurts to breathe. Sure it's not what I was expecting, but I'm not some pathetic, sniveling girl. I've got asses to kick and names to take and shit to do and crying in the women's toilet will not make him change his mind, so I'm pulling myself up by my proverbial love bootstraps and I'm moving forward. I refuse to sit on the corner waiting for him to change his mind...I'm not that girl and I don't want that kind of life.

Saturday, March 7, 2009

Spring is bustin' out all over!

I had to buy new pants this week. Long story short, I've gained some weight and as a result I was forced to buy new pants. It was while trying not to cry in the ladies dressing room that I began to wonder where this hatred of my body came from. I've never been a size 2, even when I was at my thinnest, I was never really "thin." I've always had cellulite and man calves and saddlebags and since the birth of Gavin, I've added stretch marks to the mix. But here's the lame thing--even with all my flaws, there's no reason for me to hate my body. The hips and thighs that I hate so much are strong and healthy. They carry me to and from work everyday. They're with me when I comfort my son. And they're not ever going to leave, so when do I, as a woman, realize that I'm ok just the way I am? When do I accept that I might just be a size 10 for the duration of my adult life and that to try and make myself fit in some kind of societal mold is just setting myself up to damage this beautiful, imperfect body who deserves more respect than I'm giving it. When do I say those immortal words, "I'm beautiful dammit" and whole-heartedly mean them? I think it happens about the same time I stop feeling like a 14-year-old girl. Oy!

I've become addicted to CokeZero. I can't stop myself. It's like Coke, but not. All of the Coke-y goodness and none of that oppressive guilt (see paragraph #1)! I know it's not good for me. It's flavored, colored sugar water, but it's just so tasty. Mmmmm....

Spring is just around the corner...I can feel it. The sun is getting sunnier and warmer. I didn't have to wear the raspberry beret 2.0 walking to work 2 days in a row this week. It's only a matter of time before the trees start budding and the flowers start blooming. I can't wait.

Scott is in Port Hawkesbury today doing sound for an Icelandic singer. His name is Thor. There's no story to accompany that, I thought the simple fact that his name is Thor made it noteworthy.

And Lillith, you can't be happy all the time. It's not healthy. Sometimes you just have to have a day where you want to punch people in their throats and melt the skin off their faces. With that being said, I do think you should warn people, so they can avoid the wrath...I've learned that some people don't actually like getting punched or having their skin melted off...I'm not entirely sure what their problem is, but some people are weird like that.

And Briskey, thanks for the advice. It definitely pays to have my own personal Gay Truth Booth!

And Annette, I will no longer make suggestions for the Christie progeny. I don't want to abandon you, but you're on your own. Although, maybe you should think about Thor!

Friday, February 27, 2009

If and only if

I have a case of the can't sleeps. I've also eaten too many Zingers, and as a result have both eater's remorse and a tummy ache. I'm also feeling pensive, which is never a good thing.

I often wonder why I make things so hard for myself. I over analyze. I constantly doubt myself. I have allowed people to use and mistreat me. Even to this day I will sacrifice my own happiness for the happiness of others without a second thought. I often find it's easier to let people bully me than stand up for myself, because the resulting fight isn't worth it to me. I worry what impression my complacent attitude will have on my son. I want him to grow up, confident and secure, not afraid to stand up for himself or for those around him. I want him to be an emotionally mature adult, who when the time comes, can leave me and live a rich and successful life...and not rich & successful in monetary terms, but lead a life that leaves him fulfilled and this world a better place. Sometimes the fear of making sure your kid will be an asset to the world is crippling. And it's something that nobody talks about and they most definitely don't have a chapter about it in What to Expect When You're Expecting.

I know that life is a constant road of growth and self-discovery...if we're not constantly learning and moving forward, what's the point? But it would be nice, for once, not to feel a little bit like a lost child trapped in this adult body. Life never seems to make sense and I feel like I'm never fully understanding the whys and hows of relationships and life. And I guess I'm not supposed to ever know. It's kinda like the time I took Math 1050. The teacher was this diminutive Chinese man, who's accent was so thick is was near to impossible to understand anything he said. I did the best I could and studied as hard as I could to understand the material, but Math has never been my strong suit and even with all the dedication to the class, I still only received a 'C,' and I had never been more proud of a 'C' grade in my entire life. I had done all I could do and had worked damn hard for that 'C,' so maybe this life I'm living is a 'C' life and I shouldn't be embarrassed by that, I should be proud, because regardless of what has happened in my life, I'm still here. I'm taking care of the people I love. I'm trying to raise a son with an emotional quotient as well as an intelligence quotient. I'm trying to navigate the labyrinth of uncertainty that is being a grown-up. Try, try, always trying. I know Yoda said "there is no try, only do," but Yoda was a puppet who let people put their hand up his ass. I'm just sayin'.

Thursday, February 26, 2009


I was watching The Daily Show the other morning while I was eating my breakfast and they had the president of Amazon as the guest. He was coming on to promote the Kindle 2.0. Now, I don't know if you all are far more tech savvy and actually know what the Kindle is, but if you don't, essentially it's a hand held screen that allows the reader to download hundreds of thousands of books and read them off the screen. The president was singing its praises and talking about how revolutionary it is and how the books will only cost $10 and take just seconds to download. I was struck by an irrational anger and a slight sadness. I love walking to the bookstore. I love the smell of a new book. I love to bring it home and break its spine. I love when the pages of much-loved and often-read books turn up at the corners. I don't want this new fangled technology to signal the demise of the book. I bet the dumb Kindle won't let you underline the lines of Keats you love or make notes in margins of Man's Search for Meaning. I have vowed to NEVER own one. NEVER.

On the subject of books. Thanks, Kevin for recommending Suite Francaise. I've only just started it and I find myself really liking it. So far the Michauds are my favorite! I also picked up The Reader and begun reading that, too. I wanted to see what all the hype was about. The author writes in a very antiseptic way, but for some odd reason it works. Although, I find myself wondering if the story was reversed and it was a 36 year old man and a 15 year old girl, would I find myself enjoying the story as much as I am.

I read an article yesterday about a radio dj who recommended to men that after having sex with their girlfriends that they should put tabasco in the discarded condom to protect the men from the women using the expelled sperm to impregnate themselves. I wondered why these men would be in a relationship with a woman they couldn't trust. But more important than that, why would a woman WANT to get pregnant knowing that the man would probably leave and she'd be left to raise the child alone? Then I got to thinking and wondered if this was really something that non-psychotic weirdo men are actually worried about and is the drastic step of concocting an ejaculatory hot sauce something a man would do.

In the vein of relationships--I'm not entirely sure I'm built for one! I feel like by the time women are my age, they have a few relationships under their belts and have some idea of what they're doing. I, on the other hand, have absolutely NO IDEA WHAT I'M DOING!!! There's gotta be a self-help book for severely insecure 30 year old women who are in their first actual relationship with a man who has no intention of knocking them up!!

I finally got Scott's Metal & Iron Maiden Appreciation CDs. Oh. My. It's A LOT of metal, friends. A LOT. I haven't been able to listen to all the songs in their entireties yet, but I might just be a closet The Cult fan!

Annette, I'd like to submit the names Thomas and Emmerie for your consideration. With Thomas, it can fit whatever the kid's personality is--if he's straight-laced and Type-A, you can call him Thomas. If he's laid back and goes with the flow, you can call him Tom. If he's a scrapper and likes whiskey and loose women, you can call him Tommy. And Emmerie is what Gavin was going to be called if he was a girl...I know it's two "eeee" names together, but I think it's a pretty name with a great nickname potential.

Briskey, I hope that the packing goes well. I often joke that I'm not moving anymore. I've packed and unpacked enough that the next time I'm moving I'm starting the entire place on fire and starting over! I'm sorry about the kitties, but they'll have a good and happy home and that's what's important.

Friday, February 20, 2009


Sister posted this on her Facebook, but since I don't know how to actually post anything in that technological medium, blogspot it is!!

1. Who was your FIRST prom date?
His name was Chris. It was for Homecoming at Logan High. His friend spent the day making comments about my weight and at dinner I just lost it, started crying and ran away. Yeah. I know.

2. Do you still talk to your FIRST love?

3. First alcoholic beverage?
I used to have sips of everybody else's booze, but I think my first "real" drink was a Mike's Hard Berry.

4. What was your FIRST job?
Teresa got me a job at this Chinese take-out restaurant she worked at. I ended up quitting after a few days. The boss was this tiny lady who used to yell at me in Chinese.

5. What was your FIRST car?
A navy blue Ford Escort I inherited from my dad. Hans & I christened him "Bucky Von Putt Putt: The Mayor's car" after this toy car we used to play with as children at our grandmother's house.

6. Who was the FIRST person to text you today?
Well, Scott texted me last night, but I didn't get it until this morning, so I guess, Scott, by default.

7. Who is the FIRST person you thought of this morning?
The kid. He had slept with me last night and was in the process of taking up three-quarters of the bed.

8. Who was your FIRST grade teacher?
Mrs. Dewitt. She used to dress up like a Spanish Senorita for school assemblies and would say something about needing to hear a pin drop to get all the kids to be quiet.

9. Where did you go on your FIRST ride on an airplane?
New York City, with Cassandra & Eric VanTielen. Eric had to explain all the sounds to me so I wouldn't freak out.

10. Who was your FIRST best friend & do you still talk?
Teresa. We talk on occasion. She always calls me for my birthday.

11. Where was your FIRST sleep over?
If memory serves, I remember sleeping over at my friend Michelle's house when we lived in East Carbon. I remember being very scared that I wasn't at home.

12. Who was the FIRST person you talked to today?
The kid.

13. Whose wedding were you in the FIRST time?
Devin and Nikki's. I still have the dress. I tried it on a few years ago, and I still fit into it...did I mention they got married when I was in 8th grade? Yep. I was chubby & flat-chested then too!

14. What was the FIRST thing you did this morning?
Peed & got in the shower.

15. What was the FIRST concert you ever went to?
The Cure.

16. FIRST tattoo?
A four-leaf clover on my neck.

17. First piercing?
My ears. I was 8.

18. First foreign country you've been to?
I went to Canandnanandnandnanandndna to visit Annette. I know it's Diet America, Briskey, but I had to go through customs and I think that should count for something!

19. FIRST movie you remember seeing?
I have no idea! I remember going to see movies for a dollar at Sandy Starship when I was little.

20. When was your FIRST detention?
I never had detention. I came close to getting one in 8th grade for being late to class one time, but it was rescinded when I explained that I had been late to due woman issues.

21. What was the FIRST state you lived in?

22. Who was your FIRST roommate?
I've never had a roommate, I've always lived with family.

23. If you had one wish, what would it be?
A neverending bank account.

24. What is something you would learn if you had the chance?
I've been thinking I'd like to learn how to play a musical instrument.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

What do you mean the song is 12 minutes long?

My boyfriend doesn't like pop music. Even after sending him a CD filled to the brim with poppy goodness, he still doesn't like it. I question whether or not I can continue in this relationship. I think we might have to reevaluate our future together if I don't enjoy the 12 hours worth of Iron Maiden that's making its way to me via Regular Post.

Kathy Mattea is performing at the theatre today and tomorrow. Keri & I spent the afternoon singing "18 Wheels & a Dozen Roses." I walked through the theatre while they were sound-checking and Ms. Mattea was wearing sneakers. I'm always fascinated when "famous" people seem "normal."

Due to the sideways nature of today's snow storm, our DirectTV satellite dish was COVERED in the white stuff, making it impossible for us to receive a signal. My mom, always the queen of necessity is the mother of all invention, jury-rigged a pole long enough to make it onto the roof and removed the snow. And not a minute too soon--Gavin started to say he was scared that he would have to go without tv. I think it might be time to reconsider how much television he watches!

And Briskey, I don't want your coconuts of love...I've already pined after a gay man, it's not something I need to do again!

If you please excuse me, I've got a game of tic-tac-toe to play and some subtraction flashcards to do.

Saturday, February 14, 2009

Nothing worth having comes without a fight.

Lillith!! You speak NASCAR?!! Nobody understands me, Lillith, and it brings a little comfort to know there's one other out there who likes to Boogity, Boogity, Boogity, Lets go racin' boys!!

On that note, we're having a Daytona Party tomorrow at my brother's house. We're eating hamburgers and Hebrew National hot dogs (SO good) and delicious bean dip Yessica makes (it's got like 2 sticks of butter in it, but I don't care, arteries clog away) and I'm making my grandma's Chocolate Chip Zucchini cake for the occasion. I have a lot of lovely childhood memories wrapped up in Chocolate Chip Zucchini cake.

Gavin and I often play that his kisses give me "cooties" so when he gives me a big kiss he has christened it a "cootie bomb." Well, recently he's started giving me "cootie bomb trees" that release "coconuts of love."

I'm currently writing to you all while listening to the Mixed Tape CD Scott gave me for Valemtime's Day. The one I sent him was filled with random songs--songs I like, songs that make me smile, songs that remind me of him, but mainly just songs that are my favorite. The one he sent me is filled with 1.1 hours of the sweetest and loveliest and most beautiful songs--all of which remind him of me. I began listening to it and promptly started crying, and couldn't stop. The whole thing, all 17 songs, were perfect.

Sister, I'm proud of you and I love you.

Kevin, I'm sorry to hear people using your blogs against you. I don't quite understand what the person had to gain--it seems ever so slightly junior high--but they're your thoughts & opinions and you should never have to apologize for those.

And Annette, the Mythbusters busted the myth about the penny & the Empire State Building. But, I wonder if there was a group of rugged oil-drillers who were at the ready to detonate the pick-up sized space junk, hmmmm.

Saturday, February 7, 2009

You picked a fine time to leave me, Loose Wheel

Happiness has returned to the Rockne home in the form of NASCAR. Say what you want. Judge all you like, but watching men drive around in a circle for 3 hours is a strange kind of bliss.

I have to buy Valemtime's for Gavin for his class this weekend. We're not supposed to say who they're to, only that they're from Gavin. And he doesn't need to make a Valemtime's Day box either. This made me a little sad for him. I remember the excitement of making a Valemtime's box when I was his age and getting to use the good glitter.

I asked Scott is he had plans to surprise me for Valemtime's Day, as my room is a mess and I haven't shaved my legs in a while, and I have no intention of cleaning or shaving any time soon if we wasn't planning on making an appearance. He reminded me that I don't believe in Valemtime's Day, which is true--I don't believe in required sentimentality--but irregardless it doesn't mean I wouldn't like to kiss my boyfriend on his face on the day for lovers!

Sometimes I worry that we as women are our own worst enemies.

And Briskey, there is no need to be diplomatic, Annette is 900 times cuter than I ever was pregnant!

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Perfection would be a bore, wouldn't it?

My sister Krista is a comparative literature major at the U. She takes some of the oddest and yet coolest classes for this major and I'm slightly green with envy with all the new and exciting things she gets to learn. She also keeps a blog. It's filled with really random things--it really is like her brain in blog form! She recently had to read an interview about the power of myth with Bill Moyers and Joseph Campbell, and posted some of the interview on her blog...I liked it so much that I'm going to steal it and put it on mine...

CAMPBELL: And then he says, "The writer must be true to truth." And that's a killer, because the only way you can describe a human being truly is by describing his imperfections. The perfect human being is uninteresting -- the Buddha who leaves the world, you know. It is the imperfections of life that are lovable. And when the writer sends a dart of the true word, it hurts. But it goes with love. This is what Mann called "erotic irony," the love for that which you are killing with your cruel, analytical word.

MOYERS: I cherish that image: my hometown love, the feeling you get for that place, no matter how long you've been away or even if you never return. That was where you first discovered people. But why do you say you love people for their imperfections?

CAMPBELL: Aren't children lovable because they're falling down all the time and have little bodies with the heads too big? Didn't Walt Disney know all about this when he did the seven dwarfs? And these funny little dogs that people have -- they're lovable because they're so imperfect.

MOYERS: Perfection would be a bore, wouldn't it?

CAMPBELL: It would have to be. It would be inhuman. The umbilical point, the humanity, the thing that makes you human and not supernatural and immortal -- that's what's lovable.

I love the phrase "umbilical point"

And, Annette, I still would've taken theatre classes and been involved in the department, I just would've gotten a degree that I could have a career in and not just a job. Regardless, we were destined to meet, because we're the same person and my inner Annette would have recognized that you were so close and I would have sought you out. Whether or not we would have spent 90% of our time eating bowtie pasta and diet sprites with a fresh lemon wedge, well, who knows...

Scott called me at work today. I must admit that he still gives me butterflies and I get very excited and happy to hear his voice. He was just calling to see how the day was going and to tell me we've reached a Relationship Milestone. Now. I was a little "Gulp. Oh shit. What did I forget" because I'm fairly good with dates and remembering anniversaries of important things (although, I still can't for the life of me remember birthdates...impossible...). It turns out that after dating for 16 months he now has my cellphone number committed to memory. This actually means quite a bit to me, as he's not very good with the remembering, so it melted my heart a little when he told me. It's funny how someone can enter your life so innocently and end up changing EVERYTHING in a really great way!

Briskey, I think you need to see what can happen with British Ben. Of course him living in England and you living in New York is less than ideal, but speaking as someone who's in a LDR, you can make things work. If he's game to trying it, you should see where it can go. My intention with Scott was to have a little fun and enjoy the attention for a little while and now I want to sit on the porch of his fisherman's cottage and grow old with him. At least when all is said and done you'll know that you tried and can look back with absolutely no regrets.

I have fallen in love with a new blog about unnecessary quotation marks. It's silly and funny and totally ridiculous, but it makes me smile and isn't that reason enough to visit a blog! Take a moment and check it out, at least you'll realize you're smarter than the people who write the signs!