Saturday, November 10, 2012

Catching Up

Hello friends, it's been a VERY long time since I last wrote.  I'd like to tell you that my life was filled with grand adventures and that's why I haven't written, but that would be a lie....unless you consider watching episodes of the Real Housewives of franchise and the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders show on CMT a grand adventure....

Let me write a list of the things that have happened since I wrote:

1.  I cute my hair.....short.....very short.....think Mia Farrow in Rosemary's Baby.  At least this is what I initially told myself after I cut it, to keep from getting cutter's remorse and's really more like lesbian gym teacher, but it's extremely easy to take care of and since I am inherently meh about my physical appearance and dress like a hobo 95% of the time, it works just fine for me!

2.  I just celebrated my one year anniversary at my job.  I am happy to report that I have only cried once this entire year.  This is a vast improvement over the first year I worked at the theatre, where I cried almost everyday.  I am also happy to report that I still really love my job and have a few favorite patients that I get to see regularly....they mainly seem to be little old men who call me "kid"!

3.  Gavin started 4th grade and is doing extremely well.  He's doing math at a 5th grade level and reading and language skills at a 7th grade level.  I'd like to take all the credit for how well he's doing, but it has nothing to do with me....I give all credit to him watching Crocodile Hunter with the closed captioning on....when he was little he used to come in and ask me to turn his "letters" on!  I must admit, friends, that it's been a little difficult lately coming to the realization that my son is quickly approaching the teen years of his life and when I look at his face and it looks less and less like a "baby" face everyday, I want to stop time and keep him 9 forever....consequently, he's turning 10 next month.  TEN!  YEARS!  TEN YEARS!  My kid is a decade and it's freaking me out!

4.  Christopher and I had our two year anniversary in October.  Please don't take this the wrong way, but I feel like I've been married to him for much longer than two years!  I guess you know you've found the one you want to grow old with when we're laying in bed at the end of the day, and even though I've just been on my feet for 8 hours at work and I could pass out from being so tired, I try and hold out for just 5 more, 10 more minutes, so I can talk and laugh with my husband.

I do think I need to apologize to Chrizzie and Lil....I am a terrible friend and had no idea that Chrizzie had a beautiful baby girl and Lil was working on beautiful Bear baby numero dos!  I feel like I've fallen off the face of the planet in regards to my friends, but congratulations to you both!

In today's installment of "Funny Stuff My Kid Says"
My mom was asking Gavin about Halloween and asked if he had made a "haul" trick or treating.  This conversation followed:
Gavin: Yeah, I did.
Momma Rock (to me):  Did you let him eat all the candy at once, so he got a tummy ache.
Me:  No.  He's actually pretty good about not eating it all at once....he's really good at....
Gavin:  Candy management.

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Dearly beloved, we're gathered here today to get through this thing called Life

The boys are off fishing again and I've just put a dozen blueberry muffins in the oven to bake and I'm listening to some classic Prince, so I thought I better take advantage of the time...

Gavin hasn't been sleeping well for the last month....ever since school let out he's been waking me up at 1:30am every night and subsequent increments of 30 minutes until I relent and let him sleep on the floor on my side of the bed.  We visited his pediatrician who recommended we try establishing a regular sleep pattern (which we already had implemented in an attempt to curb the waking) and taking 3mg of melatonin about 20 minutes before bed.  It seemed to work for about a week, but last night it was back to the regular 1:30am visit.  He says that he's scared, but is unwilling to elaborate on what it is he's scared of....anybody have any advice?

I've been working at my job for the past 8 months and I'd just like to say out to the patients in the universe: please stop touching the weights on my scale.  If it needs to go up another 50 pounds, I will do it.  Also, if you tell me on the phone that you need an appointment because you have a sore throat and when I ask you if there's anything else you'd like to talk to the doctor about and you say "no" and then show up to your 10 minute scheduled appointment with a list of 12 things that have been bothering you since 1997, don't get angry when I tell you that you'll have to schedule another appointment to deal with all of those.  Oh, and if you're late to an appointment, just apologize, don't blame it on my colleague by claiming they told you the wrong time, we both know that's not true.  And no, I don't believe you when you say you got lost, when we just saw you last week!

I've been watching Breaking Pointe on the CW.  It's a limited-series reality tv show following a handful of ballet dancers at Ballet West in Salt Lake.  It's so interesting to see how similar all the arts seem to be.  They're filled with extremely talented and inherently insecure people.

Speaking of the arts, I've been thinking about taking tap lessons again, but there are absolutely no places that offer tap to grown-ups.  Sigh.  I guess it's all for the best, since I wouldn't know what to do taking a tap class I could actually wear tap shoes in!  Cream in my Coffee 4EVER!

Ann-ette, just accept that you have lost the battle to keep things gender-neutral and gun-free in your home.  I raised Gavin the same way and one of his favorite things to do is shoot the bee-bee gun off the back deck at innocent empty bottles and foam targets.  And perhaps your husband, my husband and My Name's Not Ray should get together and shoot guns....Christopher has a pretty impressive gun collection that I'm sure he'd be happy to share with the Pyne/Christie boys!  I also want it noted that the story about the Shooting Things was adorable on so many different levels, but that all I really came away with was the fact that you have a 1 year old and a 3 year old and you make time to vacuum your bedroom.....I don't remember the last time I vacuumed my bedroom....seriously.  Also, I love you and want to comment on all of your blogs too, but I'm usually reading them while I'm eating lunch and I've got to hurry and set up for a pap smear and therefore can't comment! anybody watching So You Think You Can Dance?!?!  Pleeeeease say yes and let's discuss who you think should be in the Top 20!  Also, if I had balls, I'd totally cut my hair like Amelia's, but then I'd have to always wash my bangs, and boy is that a hassle, am I right, Annette?!

Sunday, June 17, 2012

I once caught a fish and it was thiiiiiiiis big!

I finished Perks of Being a Wallflower.  Meh.  Don't forget to add repressed childhood molestation to the list of teen-angst cliches found in the book.  Do you ever get finished with a book that's been "critically acclaimed" and think to yourself, "I don't get what all the fuss is about.  Does this mean I'm not an intellectual because I'd much rather be reading Pride and Prejudice and Zombies?"

We went over to the in-law's house for a Father's Day brunch this morning.  I made homemade cinnamon rolls, if anybody wants the recipe let me know, they're surprisingly easy to make and quite tasty.  Christopher's mom commented to me that I have the shapely figure of a teenager.  It just made me think about when I was an actual teenager and I was less shapely and more chunky.  I thanked her, as it's always nice for any lady to hear she's "shapely"!

My sister Krista is living in San Francisco and has a blog where she posts pictures of all the different places she visits on walks around the city.  Just a collection of moments in time from her life there.  I'm really proud of her for moving some place on her own and creating a life for herself.  It makes me a little envious....but it also reminds me of the time we went to San Francisco for ACTF and we got our pictures drawn my the tiny Chinese man on Fisherman's Wharf and Phillip's picture had a five o'clock shadow and chest hair!

Gavin and Christopher went fishing this week.  This was only the second time Gavin had ever gone fishing and he was VERY excited about going.  I, unfortunately, had to work, so I wasn't there when Gavin caught his first fish!  Every time he tells the story, the fish gets a little bit bigger, but it was a Rainbow Trout and he caught it on the last cast of the day.  Evidently they have bait that is essentially a marshmallow, but instead of tasting of marshmallow, it tastes like fish and Rainbow Trout think it's delicious.  Hannah then asked the very philosophical question that if the worlds were transposed and fish were catching humans, what would be the bait they used to catch us.  I proposed donuts, as everybody likes donuts.  Or perhaps beef jerky, because I'm pretty sure if you took a poll, 99% of all humanity would agree that beef jerky is the shit!

And Ann-ette two things:  1) The entire world we live in is a toxin-rich environment...if the artificial sweeteners don't get us, something else will, so enjoy the shit out of those Red Bulls (although, I have to say, I don't know how you can drink them, they give me the worst tummy ache).  2)  Gavin would be an excellent big brother for Grayzilla....they could chase each other around the house and do "boy stuff" together...granted that "boy stuff" may involve mild explosives or playing Wii until their eyeballs fall out of their if you don't have a problem with that, then you've got yourself a play date!

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Angst, angst, angst. And motorbikes.

I have decided I don't like this "new" blogspot....I don't like things "streamlined" or "updated." What was wrong with the "old" blogspot? Nothing, I say. Absolutely nothing.

 I'm currently reading Perks of Being a Wallflower. Hollywood is making a movie adaptation of the book and I saw the trailer for it and thought it looked like it might be interesting....who doesn't love a coming of age story? Fascists that's who! So I'm 3/4 of the way through the book and I must say, that the author has some really beautifully written passages, but for the most part the entire book is filled with teen angst cliches: gay best friend--check, unrequited love interest with asshole boyfriend--check, someone getting knocked up--check, the pot-head character--check, the manly older brother vs. the effeminate younger brother--check, suicide--check and check. It's got all the angsty things you'd expect to find in an angsty teen-centered book. I'm going to finish it of course because I want to see how it ends, but I think I'd like to read a book about a teen protagonist who has a pretty normal life, who's just trying to figure things out without eating pot-laced brownies or having their best friend kill himself.

 I completed my motorbike class and now all I have to do is go down to the DMV and take the written exam and I will be a fully licensed motorcyclist. The folks at Utah Rider Education were the most patient people I've ever met and really cool dudes, if anybody is local and looking to learn how to ride, they're the way to go. I fell in love with the bike they provided for me to learn on, the Suzuki TU250, that I'm looking at buying one for my first bike. I also learned that the dome helmet Scott purchased for me years ago for my cranial safety is actually the marshmallow equivalent of helmets, so I'll be buying a new full-faced one, as I don't want to jack up my money maker if I should ever lay my bike down. 

Work is going well. I love what I'm doing and I'm starting to have patients specifically ask for me when they call. I got to assist with an IUD insertion yesterday and draining a cyst today...very exciting stuff, I tell ya!

Ann-ette, I've been thinking about your last blog and I think feeling the siren call of somebody else's life happens to everyone (except maybe Eva Mendes, because she's beautiful AND dating Ryan Gosling). I used to think it had a lot to do with being unsatisfied, but now I think it has more to do in not trusting the Universe and what it has it store for you. I really do believe that everything works on a time table and it fluctuates and changes and when the time is right, things you want for yourself and your babies will all fall into place. It's just being patient enough while it does....I, for one, find this terribly frustrating, but I'm learning to embrace that the Universe will take care of me. Does any of that make any sense?! Also, the red pepper eating kid is a weirdo and no, you don't want to raise your kids in the city, they would become menaces to society and join a band of street thugs and then all they'd have in their life is handball and flutes, and you don't want that for your babies!

And now, in this week's installment of Funny Stuff My Kid Says: Christopher had some work done on the engine of his Harley this past month and it has become ridiculously fast and ridiculously loud. So today he had new pipes installed to better coordinate with the new engine and when the kid and I pulled up into the driveway today, Christopher was taking a picture of his bike. Without missing a beat the kid looked at me and said, "Mom. Chris loves that bike more than you and me. No joke!"

Friday, May 18, 2012

Synapse fire aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand Synapse catch

Do you guys ever have days when your brain feels about two minutes behind everything else? My brain has been like that for the last 2 weeks and I feel a little like McMurphy in One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest (see photo),
only minus that whole unpleasant Nurse Ratchet business...I'm blaming it on my Vitamin D deficiency...either that, or I'm getting the dementia and it's only a matter of time before I leave the house with the undergarments on the outside of my clothes (see photo)
In today's installment of "Funny things my kid says" Gavin gave me lilies for Mother's day. He picked them out and planted them without any help from Christopher. When he gave them to me he called them Asthmatic Lilies...they're actually Asiatic lilies, but I like his name for them better and have taken to calling them Asthmatic lilies...then he told me about the decorative pot he picked out...he said, "It's Mexican pottery, Mom. It was kinda expensive. It cost $10, but it's worth every penny!"

Friday, April 13, 2012

Flutes, get ya flutes hehre!

Another day off from work, leaves me with idle time, and since I've just put the ingredients of sun-dried tomato and asiago cheese bread into the machine, I thought I'd write. Remember yesterday how I mentioned that I'm pretty sure I'm getting dementia, well there were a few things I forgot to discuss in yesterday's blog entry. They are as follows:

1) Ann-ette, the Huxtable's dining room wasn't upstairs, it was attached to the kitchen and separated by sliding wooden doors, but I totally think if it's at all possible, one should have a dumb waiter in their house. PS and by the way, isn't that the name of a Pinter play that we had to watch at ACTF one year...which then reminds me of Handball....and then that makes me want to sell you some flutes.

2) I successfully made a from-scratch bread yesterday. I made a loaf of raisin bread, since Christopher likes it. It turned out ok...a little drier than I would have liked, but I borrowed a book from the library that helps new bread enthusiasts trouble shoot potential bread making problems. I generally have a "No Library Books" policy, since I have a problem with the germs. But I'm trying to overcome it and figure it might actually help my son not become like Howard Hughes.

3) Speaking of library books...I'm reading a book called Dear Me and it's a collection of letters stars and activists have written to their 16 year old selves. It makes me wonder if I could write a letter to 16 year old me what would I tell her. Instinctually, you want to warn her and tell her who to avoid and what choices to make, but then you think if you did that, her life would be vastly different and would 16 year old you go on to be the 33 year old you are now. I think ultimately the only thing I'd warn her about is the whole Scott relationship, as I don't think it did much for improving my life or being a very good teachable moment....I'd also tell her to stop dressing like a third grade teacher!

4) Speaking of Scott....he sent me a text a few days ago. I guess my polite requests for him to leave me alone were just "suggestions" as this is the second time he's done this to me. I've long since forgotten his number and haven't spoken to him in over 2 years. Hans says he texted because boys don't like to burn bridges. I don't know. I don't understand. We're not friends. He doesn't get the privilege of sending me a text out of the blue and asking how I am. The whole thing just makes me upset.

5) Hans and I have signed up for our motorcycle riding class. It starts in June and after two weekends, we'll be hell on wheels....or maybe scared on wheels would be a more accurate description! Christopher has already found me a little cafe style racer bike, that gets good reviews for being a good starter bike, so needless to say, I've VERY excited! Hans and I have been wanting to learn to ride bikes for a long time, so it's good to finally get to it. Anybody want to join our biker gang?!

Thursday, April 12, 2012

These are their stories....

I have the day off from work today and thought I would write on this blog of mine. A few things to discuss:

1) I bought a bread making machine a few weeks ago and have now become obsessed with making homemade bread. I understand that it's technically "cheating" as it doesn't really require me to do anything other than put ingredients in a machine, push a button, and wait for the timer to beep 3 hours later, but it's not as easy as one would think. After a few unsuccessful attempts at interpreting what temperature "warm" water would be, I've now hit my carby stride and am about to make a journey into the world of not using the pre-measured boxed mixes. We'll see how it goes....keep your yeasts crossed!

2) I had my first mammogram yesterday. I had noticed some changes in the size of my right breast and given the history of my mother having breast cancer, my lady doctor thought I should go a mammogram performed. It was the most pleasant health-related visit I've ever experienced. Everybody was extremely kind and you could tell they all really want to make it a safe and comfortable experience for the patients. It wasn't painful, a little uncomfortable at times, and it can be a little unnerving having a stranger essentially grab your boobies and manipulate them to fit on this shelf that she then lowers another shelf to flatten them into a booby pancake, but EVERY woman should do it. The staff couldn't agree more that if something doesn't "feel right" a woman needs to listen to her body and get things checked out. As it turns out, I'm perfectly fine. No malignancy. So good news all around. I got to second base with a delightful woman named Wendy and don't have the cancer, so win-win, really! Sister, if you're reading this, DON'T tell our mother, it would just worry her unnecessarily!

3) I'm pretty sure that I'm getting early onset dementia. I'm forgetting words and tasks. The other day, Christopher asked me where something was, and I said "Did you look in the place where we hang up the coats." I couldn't remember the word 'closet'!! Maybe I'm unknowingly sleep deprived. Ann-ette, do you want to come and sleep train me?!

4) Spring is springing here, too. Although, it's snow/raining today, but that's Cache Valley in April for you.

5) So Gavin's History Fair was last week and he was a superstar, he articulately answered all the questions of the people who came to his booth without being shy or confused, I was really proud of him. He ended up doing it on the Bubonic Plague after all and I must say his board was pretty awesome....I say this mostly because I pretty much did the presentation. I know, I know. "How is he supposed to learn anything if you do all his work?" Christopher said the same thing, but it was just easier for me to do it. He did help me research and find facts, but I did the rest. It took me the entire weekend to complete it. Well, cut to this week and Gavin coming home to tell me that the History Fair was completely voluntary for his class. Meaning, he DIDN'T have to do it. Meaning, I wasted an entire weekend doing my son's homework when I could have been watching episodes of Law & Order on Netflix. I was NOT happy. But I suppose, I've learned a very valuable lesson. When given the option between school work and Lennie Brisco, ALWAYS choose in Lennie Brisco!