Wednesday, August 26, 2009

I'm an eukaryote.

School started this week for the kid and myself. He was VERY excited to finally start, although he's a little disappointed in the fact that he only has ONE recess. I had my first Microbiology lab on Monday. I looked at bacteria and amoebas under a microscope--it was actually a lot of fun and I signed up to do a report of Fifth Disease! I learned today in class that smallpox has been eradicated in modern society and as a result if terrorist were ever able to get their hands on a strain of smallpox (stealing it from one of the 2 labs that have it) for chemical warfare, they could fundamentally kill the entire world population--minus those people who are members of the military and have been inoculated. I'm pretty sure that this class is going to turn me into Howard Hughes. Dearest A will you be kind enough to leave me bottles of milk and sandwiches outside my door?!

Kevin, bear with me, this will go somewhere. I don't know if you're familiar with a movie called Girls Just Wanna Have Fun. It stars a young Sarah Jessica Parker as a girl who just wants to dance and her military yes sir no sir father won't let her, eventually he sees that she was born to dance and no longer has a problem with her reaching for her dream. Anyway, there is a part in that movie where SJP and her friend (an even younger Helen Hunt) make copies of a debutante party invitation and give it out to all the unsavories (lady muscle builders *HORROR*) and they all crash and zaniness ensues! When I read your comment, I thought about how YOU were the unsavory!! Also, I'd like an update on the department, too!

Lillith--I didn't get a chance to tell you how cute you and your bump are! I hope he's being kind to you. And congrats on not having to clean up the poo!

Briskey--I know this is late, but I happen to LOVE and ADORE Tim Gunn. He is NOT creepy. And if he weren't gay I would happily marry him. Although, come to think of it, if he weren't gay he'd probably be an ass, so....

Quentie!! I'm glad that you've found me! My mom asked what you were up to the other day. I told her that you were probably harassing Just Jan and wearing womens shoes!

Oh! And is there any polite way to offer a mint to the dude sitting behind you in class who every time he exhales he sends a toxic cloud of awful breath into my nostrils?

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

A long overdue update!! For you Briskey!!

According to Ann-ette's "Blogs I Read" list, I haven't updated my blog for 3 weeks!! That's a long time! A lot has actually happened in those last 3 weeks! Allow me to share a few of the events:

1. My brother and his lovely wife had a little baby boy on the 28th of July. I met him this weekend. He's adorable and tiny and the most mellow baby ever! I was worried that when I held him that I would get the baby pang and start to want to have another one. I am happy to report that did NOT happen and my "no more babies" stance is still holding strong.

2. I finished with my Human Anatomy class on the 31st of July. I ended up getting a 'B'! I was ecstatic about it and Megs congratulated me on surviving the class and doing well by buying me a Funnel Cake Making Kit! I actually REALLY enjoyed the class and I learned an obscene amount of information. My next classes are Microbiology and Nutrition. So now not only will I be afraid to leave the house because of the germs I'll be learning about, I'll also be afraid to eat anything because of the calories!!

3. Gavin is getting so big. He starts 1st grade in a couple of weeks and he has friends and is doing more and more for himself. It's surreal to realize that he's nearly 7. I don't feel any older, but the wrinkles on my forehead beg to differ!!

3a. I had my first real "boy" experience with my son this weekend. We were driving to Salt Lake to visit and he informed me that he had to pee. As we were in the middle of Sardine Canyon and there were no obvious bathrooms and he was REALLY starting to the do the pee-pee dance, I pulled over to the side of the road and he peed in a bush!! I now realize that I have crossed a threshold with Gavin and he is now officially more boy than baby.

4. I have decided that if I knew that broken hearts took this long to heal, I would have avoided the whole situation to begin with!!

5. Briskey--Megs and I have decided that your blog is the highlight of our sad, sad existence. We especially enjoy your severe dislike of Cruz Beckham and Kristen Stewart. And your trying to remember what the African country Namibia was today killed me!! I miss you. Can we please bring back our weekly post-mortems of ANTM?

6. Chrizzie--I LOVE the new hair! I always thought you looked so sassy with the short hair!

7. Ann-ette--I've decided that you and I should write a pamphlet on what to do when you survive Nuclear Winter. I think step one should be "Don't Panic," followed by step two "Don't eat douchebags" I think it would be a valuable public service.

8. Sister--I'm so proud of you! Keep doing what you're doing and you'll get there before you know it!!

9. Kevin--I know this is random and totally a different medium, but your profile picture on Facebook is priceless!! Please tell me you were a maitre'd in a restaurant and they made you wear the monkey suit!!