Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Dearly beloved, we're gathered here today to get through this thing called Life

The boys are off fishing again and I've just put a dozen blueberry muffins in the oven to bake and I'm listening to some classic Prince, so I thought I better take advantage of the time...

Gavin hasn't been sleeping well for the last month....ever since school let out he's been waking me up at 1:30am every night and subsequent increments of 30 minutes until I relent and let him sleep on the floor on my side of the bed.  We visited his pediatrician who recommended we try establishing a regular sleep pattern (which we already had implemented in an attempt to curb the waking) and taking 3mg of melatonin about 20 minutes before bed.  It seemed to work for about a week, but last night it was back to the regular 1:30am visit.  He says that he's scared, but is unwilling to elaborate on what it is he's scared of....anybody have any advice?

I've been working at my job for the past 8 months and I'd just like to say out to the patients in the universe: please stop touching the weights on my scale.  If it needs to go up another 50 pounds, I will do it.  Also, if you tell me on the phone that you need an appointment because you have a sore throat and when I ask you if there's anything else you'd like to talk to the doctor about and you say "no" and then show up to your 10 minute scheduled appointment with a list of 12 things that have been bothering you since 1997, don't get angry when I tell you that you'll have to schedule another appointment to deal with all of those.  Oh, and if you're late to an appointment, just apologize, don't blame it on my colleague by claiming they told you the wrong time, we both know that's not true.  And no, I don't believe you when you say you got lost, when we just saw you last week!

I've been watching Breaking Pointe on the CW.  It's a limited-series reality tv show following a handful of ballet dancers at Ballet West in Salt Lake.  It's so interesting to see how similar all the arts seem to be.  They're filled with extremely talented and inherently insecure people.

Speaking of the arts, I've been thinking about taking tap lessons again, but there are absolutely no places that offer tap to grown-ups.  Sigh.  I guess it's all for the best, since I wouldn't know what to do taking a tap class I could actually wear tap shoes in!  Cream in my Coffee 4EVER!

Ann-ette, just accept that you have lost the battle to keep things gender-neutral and gun-free in your home.  I raised Gavin the same way and one of his favorite things to do is shoot the bee-bee gun off the back deck at innocent empty bottles and foam targets.  And perhaps your husband, my husband and My Name's Not Ray should get together and shoot guns....Christopher has a pretty impressive gun collection that I'm sure he'd be happy to share with the Pyne/Christie boys!  I also want it noted that the story about the Shooting Things was adorable on so many different levels, but that all I really came away with was the fact that you have a 1 year old and a 3 year old and you make time to vacuum your bedroom.....I don't remember the last time I vacuumed my bedroom....seriously.  Also, I love you and want to comment on all of your blogs too, but I'm usually reading them while I'm eating lunch and I've got to hurry and set up for a pap smear and therefore can't comment! anybody watching So You Think You Can Dance?!?!  Pleeeeease say yes and let's discuss who you think should be in the Top 20!  Also, if I had balls, I'd totally cut my hair like Amelia's, but then I'd have to always wash my bangs, and boy is that a hassle, am I right, Annette?!

Sunday, June 17, 2012

I once caught a fish and it was thiiiiiiiis big!

I finished Perks of Being a Wallflower.  Meh.  Don't forget to add repressed childhood molestation to the list of teen-angst cliches found in the book.  Do you ever get finished with a book that's been "critically acclaimed" and think to yourself, "I don't get what all the fuss is about.  Does this mean I'm not an intellectual because I'd much rather be reading Pride and Prejudice and Zombies?"

We went over to the in-law's house for a Father's Day brunch this morning.  I made homemade cinnamon rolls, if anybody wants the recipe let me know, they're surprisingly easy to make and quite tasty.  Christopher's mom commented to me that I have the shapely figure of a teenager.  It just made me think about when I was an actual teenager and I was less shapely and more chunky.  I thanked her, as it's always nice for any lady to hear she's "shapely"!

My sister Krista is living in San Francisco and has a blog where she posts pictures of all the different places she visits on walks around the city.  Just a collection of moments in time from her life there.  I'm really proud of her for moving some place on her own and creating a life for herself.  It makes me a little envious....but it also reminds me of the time we went to San Francisco for ACTF and we got our pictures drawn my the tiny Chinese man on Fisherman's Wharf and Phillip's picture had a five o'clock shadow and chest hair!

Gavin and Christopher went fishing this week.  This was only the second time Gavin had ever gone fishing and he was VERY excited about going.  I, unfortunately, had to work, so I wasn't there when Gavin caught his first fish!  Every time he tells the story, the fish gets a little bit bigger, but it was a Rainbow Trout and he caught it on the last cast of the day.  Evidently they have bait that is essentially a marshmallow, but instead of tasting of marshmallow, it tastes like fish and Rainbow Trout think it's delicious.  Hannah then asked the very philosophical question that if the worlds were transposed and fish were catching humans, what would be the bait they used to catch us.  I proposed donuts, as everybody likes donuts.  Or perhaps beef jerky, because I'm pretty sure if you took a poll, 99% of all humanity would agree that beef jerky is the shit!

And Ann-ette two things:  1) The entire world we live in is a toxin-rich environment...if the artificial sweeteners don't get us, something else will, so enjoy the shit out of those Red Bulls (although, I have to say, I don't know how you can drink them, they give me the worst tummy ache).  2)  Gavin would be an excellent big brother for Grayzilla....they could chase each other around the house and do "boy stuff" together...granted that "boy stuff" may involve mild explosives or playing Wii until their eyeballs fall out of their if you don't have a problem with that, then you've got yourself a play date!

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Angst, angst, angst. And motorbikes.

I have decided I don't like this "new" blogspot....I don't like things "streamlined" or "updated." What was wrong with the "old" blogspot? Nothing, I say. Absolutely nothing.

 I'm currently reading Perks of Being a Wallflower. Hollywood is making a movie adaptation of the book and I saw the trailer for it and thought it looked like it might be interesting....who doesn't love a coming of age story? Fascists that's who! So I'm 3/4 of the way through the book and I must say, that the author has some really beautifully written passages, but for the most part the entire book is filled with teen angst cliches: gay best friend--check, unrequited love interest with asshole boyfriend--check, someone getting knocked up--check, the pot-head character--check, the manly older brother vs. the effeminate younger brother--check, suicide--check and check. It's got all the angsty things you'd expect to find in an angsty teen-centered book. I'm going to finish it of course because I want to see how it ends, but I think I'd like to read a book about a teen protagonist who has a pretty normal life, who's just trying to figure things out without eating pot-laced brownies or having their best friend kill himself.

 I completed my motorbike class and now all I have to do is go down to the DMV and take the written exam and I will be a fully licensed motorcyclist. The folks at Utah Rider Education were the most patient people I've ever met and really cool dudes, if anybody is local and looking to learn how to ride, they're the way to go. I fell in love with the bike they provided for me to learn on, the Suzuki TU250, that I'm looking at buying one for my first bike. I also learned that the dome helmet Scott purchased for me years ago for my cranial safety is actually the marshmallow equivalent of helmets, so I'll be buying a new full-faced one, as I don't want to jack up my money maker if I should ever lay my bike down. 

Work is going well. I love what I'm doing and I'm starting to have patients specifically ask for me when they call. I got to assist with an IUD insertion yesterday and draining a cyst today...very exciting stuff, I tell ya!

Ann-ette, I've been thinking about your last blog and I think feeling the siren call of somebody else's life happens to everyone (except maybe Eva Mendes, because she's beautiful AND dating Ryan Gosling). I used to think it had a lot to do with being unsatisfied, but now I think it has more to do in not trusting the Universe and what it has it store for you. I really do believe that everything works on a time table and it fluctuates and changes and when the time is right, things you want for yourself and your babies will all fall into place. It's just being patient enough while it does....I, for one, find this terribly frustrating, but I'm learning to embrace that the Universe will take care of me. Does any of that make any sense?! Also, the red pepper eating kid is a weirdo and no, you don't want to raise your kids in the city, they would become menaces to society and join a band of street thugs and then all they'd have in their life is handball and flutes, and you don't want that for your babies!

And now, in this week's installment of Funny Stuff My Kid Says: Christopher had some work done on the engine of his Harley this past month and it has become ridiculously fast and ridiculously loud. So today he had new pipes installed to better coordinate with the new engine and when the kid and I pulled up into the driveway today, Christopher was taking a picture of his bike. Without missing a beat the kid looked at me and said, "Mom. Chris loves that bike more than you and me. No joke!"