Monday, October 10, 2011

Manly Men

An open letter:

Dear Cashier Lady at the grocery store,

The answer is yes. Yes, I'd like my groceries in a shopping bag. All my groceries. Yes. Even the frozen pizza.


The weather sure has turned frosty here. We had to turn on the furnace the other day. You always know when winter is approaching because the entire house smells like that burned socks haven't used the furnace in a while smell. I'm actually looking forward to it cooling down. That means it's sweater weather, my favorite, but I could do without the snow. Is there somebody who I could talk to about having no snow during the winter?

I've become addicted to the CSI reruns on SpikeTV. They start at 9am and go until 1pm. By the time they're finished, I've lost the entire morning, and I feel marginally guilty about it, but mostly I wonder what episodes are going to be on tomorrow!

Training for my new job went well. Everybody was extremely nice and patient with me. It's always a crap shoot whether or not you'll fit in, so it's nice when you do.

Ann-ette, I giggled non-stop for a solid minute about Grayzilla and his frogging in the computer room and then telling you about it! I giggled about it just now writing this!

Lillith--isn't it nice to know the incessant, stab-inducing songs of those alphabet videos actually work! It makes the potential nervous breakdown worth it!

I have a few additions to the blog installment of "Funny Stuff My Kid Says"

I was driving the kid to school the other morning, this was our conversation
Me: I'm hungry!
Him: Me, too!
Me: How can you be hungry, you just ate a bowl of cereal and a cup of hot chocolate/!
Him: Mom, just because I already ate breakfast, doesn't mean a man can't be hungry.

As I was leaving to go to Salt Lake, Gavin was hugging and kissing me and telling me "please don't go" and "I'll miss you". I gave him a hug and told him I'd be home soon and he wouldn't even notice I was gone. As soon as I stepped out the door, he turned to Chris and said, "It's Man House now!"

While I was away at training, Gavin and Christopher were attempting to finish the Raiders of the Lost Ark level on Legos Indiana Jones. As they were playing Gavin told Christopher to pause it, because he had to go to the bathroom. He ran to the stairs and before ascending them, turned to Christopher and said, "We need buckets. Pee buckets. Then we wouldn't have to stop playing to go to the bathroom, we could just use the pee buckets."

Monday, October 3, 2011

I'd like one Satin Scorpion Jacket, please....

Hans and I went to go see the movie Drive yesterday, since she was up visiting for the weekend. I love Sunday matinees in Logan because nobody goes to was just Hans and I in the theatre (except for half way through when a weird dude came in and sat near the front of the theatre and then left before the credits....strange) we got to talk in outloud voices, which is something we're vigorously against at regular movies, but when it's just you and your sister, you can break the rules a little! Anyway, it was a very good movie. The pacing of the movie was very interesting in conjunction with the premise that the lead character is a get-away driver for criminals, so it would ebb and flow between being tense and fast and being slow and subdued. The second half of the movie was pretty bloody and violent...I could have done without seeing the fork stuck in a dude's eyeball....but I really enjoyed it and would recommend it. And my goodness is that Ryan Gosling dreamy.

I bought myself a little sewing machine this weekend, so I can sew Gavin's Halloween costume. It's nothing fancy, but it's a good little machine. Gavin has become obsessed with it. He's been asking to sew on it since I got it. So last night we sat down and I taught him how to sew. He just finished making me a belt with several pockets on it. It's slightly too big and the pockets have been sewn on upside down, but he was very proud of his first belt and I am currently wearing it!

I start training for a new LPN job at a home health company this week. It's in Salt Lake, so I'll have to drive down once a week and stay with Hans and my dad, but it'll be good to keep my skills fresh and to get a little experience.

I'm with Kevin, Ann-ette, it's important to get things in order. I have a will and Gavin will be going to my brother and his wife if anything should ever happen to me. I don't anticipate ever needing it, but it's good to have it. Also, I'd be happy to take on Grayzilla and Bebe Avery. Gavin is so grown up, he hardly needs me anymore and I've been missing having a little one around! Besides, who better to take care of your kids than someone in the medical profession?!!

Speaking of babies, I had another weird dream the other night that I artificially inseminated myself in the backseat of a limo and then started to freak out when I realized the sperm was from a black man and I didn't know how I was going to explain to my husband (who didn't look like my husband, but looked like the actor who plays Michael Westen on Burn Notice) why I had a black baby! I don't know where these dreams are coming from, but maybe I need to start listening to some Yanna before I go to bed...mellow this shit out a little bit!

In today's installment of "Funny Stuff My Kid Says"
The other day we were watching The Daily Show and they were discussing how poorly Rick Perry handled the Republican candidate debates. On one of the clips of the political shows, the commenter was equating Rick Perry's inability to form coherent arguments to having just "vomited on himself." John Stewart than took the joke a step farther and imitating the aforementioned commenter talked about diarrhea and poo and Rick Perry putting his hand in it. Well, Gavin and I having the mind of a 12 year old boy and finding bathroom humor funny, just laughed and laughed. Between giggles, Gavin said, "I don't know who this guy is, but he's hilarious!"