Sunday, September 25, 2011

Buttons, Nuts, and Cupcakes

I'm currently writing this blog post on my iPhone. Why am I writing from my iPhone you may be asking yourself. Well allow me to explain. It is because my son currently has possession of my computer and is playing an online game entitled Defend Your Nuts. Yes. Defend Your Nuts. In which the player is a squirrel and must defend his nuts from various monsters that intend to steal his nuts. I told Christopher if he played his cards right, we'd play a little Defend Your Nuts later tonight! Was that an overshare?!!

In keeping with the overshares, Lillith, true story... I went braless once and the first words out of my mother's mouth was "your buttons are showing"!!

I'm happy to report I got my flu shot and didn't feel the teeniest bit ill afterwards....last year I got my shot and got pretty sick the next day. Maybe that's not the best way to encourage you, but everybody get a flu shot this'll thank me later!!

I just finished making fun-da-middles cupcakes. If you haven't heard of them, find them at your local grocery store and make them, as they are awesome and ridiculously delicious!

The auto correct on my phone kept changed fun-da-middles to fun-da-Middlesborough. Not a very good name for cupcakes in my opinion.

And Ann-ette, two things. One. I was NEVER a crier, and as soon as I had Gavin, it's waterworks central. Ask Christopher about the time we watched the movie Taking Chance and they showed pictures of the real life Chance at the end of the movie and I cried for an HOUR!! And if I know a tv show that I usually watch is going to have an episode that deals with something awful happening to a child, I refuse to watch it. Two. I am very glad you gave up that ridiculous diet. Here. Have a fun-da-Middlesborough

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

A cream and two sugars

I'm writing to you all between bites of blueberry muffin. Don't get excited. It's a FiberOne blueberry muffin. This makes me officially old.

My husband's dog (I refuse to accept true ownership and refer to him as "our" dog) is in the front room eating toilet paper he got out of the bathroom garbage. And when I go anywhere near him, in a vain attempt to get the toilet paper, he picks it up in his teeth, growls at me and runs away. I'm convinced that he does this just to be an a-hole.

Since marrying Christopher, I have become a coffee drinker. Granted, I have to put so much milk and sugar in it to make it sweet enough, that it really should be called Sugar Milk with Coffee, but I was recently at the Starbucks and thought I'd try their new Pumpkin Spice Latte. Oh geez. It's good. TOO good. Now my day revolves around how I can manufacture errands that need to be run so I can, without guilt, go to the Starbucks and get one. This could potentially be a VERY bad thing for my wallet and my waistline.

I work my first flu shot clinic tomorrow. There's nothing really funny to say about that, just thought you guys might like to know.

Gavin's obsession with Star Wars continues. Last night he came upstairs, having made a throw blanket into a cloak and said "Look mom, I'm Lando Calrissian!"

Ann-ette, I was thinking that EXACT same thing with Dominique!! My first thought was how she lost the baby weight so fast and then quickly the second thought was "Who's taking care of your baby?!!" I don't know why you'd want to be away from your baby, but I suppose the paycheck for the series is pretty good, but let's be honest, we all know that Laura is going to win (as she was robbed and should have won her cycle), so missing that snuggle time with your baby wouldn't be worth it to me. And also, I think it's unnatural to lose all the baby weight that fast!!
P.S. I think you need to stop being so hard on yourself about the baby weight stuff. You're healthy and happy, with two beautiful babes and a husband who loves you and you'll lose the weight eventually, cut yourself some slack!

Ok, I better go. The dog is barking at a sprinkler. Sigh.

Thursday, September 15, 2011

Who cares! Just eat the cake already!

Gavin started at a new school this year and the curriculum is a little more involved than at his last school. I was helping him with his homework tonight and this was one of the actual questions we were faced with in the math section:
The clockmaker's wife was a mathematician. On his birthday she invited five other couples to tea. She made a birthday cake decorated to look like a clock face with numbers made from pink icing. She cut up the cake into twelve slices with a number on each slice.
The slices that she gave to each couple added to the same number. What was the number?
The clockmaker had the slice with 12 on it because it was his birthday. One guest wanted 7 because it was her lucky number. All the slices that went to men added to a number equal to those that went to the women. How could this be arranged?

O_O Blink Blink Head Scratch Huh?

Did I mention that Gavin is 8? EIGHT!!
It is a good thing that I married a man who is good at math, because that shit was even confusing to me!

Annette--I have seen pictures of Baby Avery and there is nothing that would make me think that she is a freakishly tall/big infant. Perhaps you need to put a Toony next to her in future photos so I can see the scale of things!!

Christopher and I are going on a date tomorrow night. I honestly can't remember the last time we went on a date! I think it was some time in February...maybe....It gets tricky trying to organize alone time with 3 babies, but we're going to do it. I might even shave my legs!

I'm reading a book entitled The Girls of Murder City. It's a non-fiction book about the women that inspired Chicago, but it explores more than just the women; it explores the entire culture of 1924 Chicago and the relationship between Prohibition, Gangsters, Women who murder, and the papers and reporters that cover the trials. It's really interesting and it's fun to see the way the fiction within a play weaves with the fact of real life. I highly recommend it!

In today's installment of "Funny Stuff My Kid Says":
Actual quote: "And if World War III starts, mom will send me to Canada, they are quite friendly there."

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Mixed Tapes, anyone?!

My car doesn't have a CD player, so I'm stuck with only being able to listen to cassettes or the's not as bad as it sounds. I recently cleaned out my car and found my grandmother's Shirley Bassey's Greatest Hits cassette tape that I inherited when she passed away (I also have a wide collection of Barbra Streisand, George Strait, and Louis Armstrong--what can I say, my grandma had eclectic tastes!). Anyway, I have decided that I love Ms. Shirley Bassey and want to be as sassy as she is when I grow up. Diamonds are Forever is hands-down one of the best sung songs in movie theme history....

Gavin has become mildly obsessed with Star Wars. I recently found him a book entitled The Strange Case of Origami Yoda about a social misfit who is exceptionally good at origami and creates an origami Yoda finger puppet that gives sage and wise advice to the children of the school. He's reading it to me before bed and I find myself chuckling quite a bit at the lovely writing style and the story. Chrizzie, I think Little Richie would find it hysterical. After reading tonight's chapter I have decided that the phrase "peed in my pants" will forever be funny....

America's Next Top CIA Secret Model Search of America Super All-Star Edition premiered tonight. You know I watched the shit out of that show! I realized tonight that I have seen every single cycle of ANTM. I'm not sure if this is a badge of honor or if I should be terribly embarrassed. Either way, I have decided that I don't like Nigel with hair. As I told Briskey, he looks like he's either going to try to sell me a used Cadillac or put a roofie in my drink!

I also watched the premiere of the new show Ringer with Sarah Michelle Gellar. I really, really liked it. It's nice to see SMG back on TV. My mom and I discussed that she looks older, but exactly the same! To be perfectly honest, I would watch the show even if it was terrible, but I'm glad it's not. Besides, that Ioan Gruffudd sure is dreamy.

In today's installment of "Funny Stuff My Kid Says":
I was talking with my mom today about how Christopher and I have been married almost a year. She jokingly said she was surprised that we'd lasted that long and I responded with "you thought I would have stabbed him by now?" She chuckled and Gavin, who was sitting on the floor playing Star Wars Legos, looked up and said "There have been a few close calls."!!

Friday, September 9, 2011

Unde e toaleta?

Ever since Annette mentioned the "Stats" tab, I've become mildly obsessed. Evidently, I'm huge in Romania! So, let me take a moment and welcome my Romanian readers: Salut! Ce mai faci?! It is interesting how small the internet makes the world, isn't it?!

Speaking of Annette, it's her birthday today! Huzzah! I really do consider her to be a great blessing in my life and think she's the cat's pajamas! And though we grow older, Ann-ette, I want us to never grow up!! Now I'm going to watch some Xanadu while drinking a diet sprite with a wedge of lemon in your honor!

I've had another zombie dream. This one involved Christopher making me go to a zombie growing farm. The reanimation of corpses was achieved by wrapping them in a shroud and continually dunking them in some sort of liquid in big bathtubs. So I was standing, holding the upper head portion of the shroud and dunk, dunk, dunking, when the zombie came alive, turned it's head around 180 degrees, snarled at me and took a huge chunk out of my hand. I woke up when the zombie bit me. I'm not entirely sure what the prevalence of zombie dreams seems to denote for my subconscious mind, but between them and the pregnant/baby dreams, I'm slightly worried for myself!

The hunt for a full-time job continues. It's very discouraging when companies won't hire you because you don't have the experience, but you can't get the experience if no one will hire you!! I'm just gonna keep on truckin''s the only way to be....

Yesterday daddy's JV football team was in the valley playing a game against Skyview, so Christopher, the kid and I all went. I have decided that it is not a good idea for me to go to these games as I nearly ripped a dude's throat out for bad mouthing the coaching. I may have an angelic, sweet face, but I will cut you if you mess with my family! I also had an older gentleman ask me if I had a boy playing on the team. I must say it was a bit of a kick to the ego. I know that I've let myself go a little bit and can't seem to lose the weight I gained with nursing school, but I didn't think I looked old enough to have a 16 year old son. Sigh. I'm convinced it's the forehead wrinkles and the age spots on my's like you wake up one morning and you've got old lady hands and you can't understand how this all happened! It's like my body hit its expiration date and there's nothing I can do now but watch myself decompose slowly over the next 50 years!

In today's installment of "Funny Things My Kid Says":
Yesterday, President Obama gave a special speech in Congress about his new Jobs bill. They were playing it on UPR and Christopher and I were listening to it. I had been up late the night before and was feeling a little tired, so I laid down on the couch and closed my eyes to listen. As I was laying there, Gavin tiptoed up to me, gently patted my shoulder and said "Do Republicans make you sleepy?!"