Thursday, February 23, 2012

If I've learned anything, it's that if the doctor offers you pain pills after a procedure, you're probably going to need them...

I'm am VERY pleased to report that I successfully completed my second vasectomy without a single hint of needing to pass out/throw-up! I consider this a step towards complete and total nursing domination. However, I was informed by the MD that, although he appreciates my attempts to engage the patient in banter in a means to distract them from the inevitable discomfort of having their junk cut into, I need to not make eye contact with the patient, as this is causing me to unknowingly shift the clamps a little to the right and shifting the clamps microscopically to the right while holding a man's vas deferens is not a good thing.

All the standing and walking at my job is starting to give me varicose veins, which contrary to popular belief, are NOT sexy. So I bought myself some compressions stockings (think the knee high stockings that very old, fat ladies wear). So far they appear to be working, as my legs and feet are not as swollen or tired as they were pre-stockings. The only downside is they give me muffin top on my knees. Yep. I didn't think it was possible to have muffin top anywhere other than your waist, but apparently you can.

Christopher and I have become obsessed with the show The Tudors...I acknowledge we're like years after the trend, but Netflix has all the seasons on Watch Instantly and we've now started watching an episode a night before we go to bed. I've always been intrigued by history and Henry and his wives....I read a really fantastic book about his wives last year....I think I wrote about it on this blog thingamajig, but I can't remember...anyway, if I did, disregard this re-mention of the book....if I didn't, it was a most excellent book and I thoroughly enjoyed it. Anyway, as I said, we're watching the series. Henry has become enamored with Anne Boleyn and has just told Cardinal Wolsey he has to help him get a divorce from Catharine of Aragon. It's funny to watch a series where you know how it ends and you want to shake Anne Boleyn and say "Run away if you like your head still attached to your body!" I must also say that there are A LOT of boobs (both naked and clothed) and A LOT of asses in this show....I have no other commentary on that fact, just that there are a lot of them. Also, how did everybody not have some sort of venereal disease? I'm serious. Thinking about this keeps me up at night. I want answers.

Speaking of VD...did you guys see where gonorrhea is becoming drug resistant. Again. No other commentary to offer. Just be safe out there, kids.

Ann-ette: Two things. 1) Hans and I have decided that you must wear a Dolly-esque wig when we go to Dollywood, as you look the most like her. Which segues quite nicely into 2) That story about Mike running the stop sign because he was looking at your boobies made me laugh and awww all at the same time. It made me laugh for fairly obvious reasons, but it made me awww, because it means that your husband still thinks you're the prettiest girl in the room who could be a part-time model. And that melts my cold icy heart.

1 comment:

The Bears said...

I know this isn't the right post, but I wanted to say get your barf bag ready, because despite major attitude issues at times, River just seems to be getting cuter. The universe is compensating for the fact that I continually get less cute with each passing day. Oh well...