This post is Amanda approved!

I'm writing to you from the warm comfort of my bed (God bless the laptop) whilst wearing the sock monkey pajamas Hans bought me for Christmas this year...they're full of win and exceptionally warm. Annette, it's not snowing here, but it's doing that poser raindrop kind of thing that it really wants to be snow, but can't quite get there. I do not approve. I'm ready for real Spring weather, although I'm convinced we're going to have one day of lovely Spring and then it'll be 900 degrees, because Mother Nature is a cruel bitch who likes to mess with me.

I'd like you all to know that I took my physiology final yesterday and am now finished with all my prerequisite classes. I won't know how I did on the final until next week, but at this point, I'm so relieved to be finished that the grade is rather inconsequential! Next step, application process. I can already feel the acid reflux burning from the anxiety-caused churning of my tummy. You know what is funny, the fact that I am more scared about the application process than I am about having people's lives depend on me....I'm more frightened by their selection committee than being faced with a sucking chest wound....at least with the sucking chest wound I know what to do to fix it...with a selection committee, I have no idea....a basket of mini-muffins?

I started volunteering for a local hospice and was assigned to a lovely little spunky woman. I can't tell you much more than that, due to patient confidentiality, but she tells some of the greatest stories and I just spend 90 minutes a week laughing.

My room is an absolute disaster...it looks like a tornado followed by an earthquake and then a tsunami hit it. I had neglected it to do homework and now that homework is not an issue, I have to do something about it. My bathroom is starting to look like a bathroom you'd find at the Pi Kap House. I do not approve.

Gavin had his first soccer game tonight. It was raining, but the kids still played. Gavin didn't seem to mind, but my mom came home looking a bit like a drowned cat. She did not approve.

Ok. I'm going to go and watch Rick Mercer Report videos on YouTube....he's Canandiananandidianan and I don't understand all of the political jokes, but charming is charming and it transcends barriers!

Shirtless Jacob Black....check.

Well, dear friends, I have finished my drug dosage and calculations class. I took my final yesterday, and with the exception of the diluent questions....damn diluents are my Achilles heel....I did pretty well. I ended up getting a 94.5 out of 100 on the final and a 96% out of the class. I must say that it feels good to check another class off my list! Now I just need to survive the next 4 weeks, and I'll be finished with physiology, too. I just finished my physiology lecture of the male reproductive system....it was quite interesting and I learned quite a few things....zip it, Briskey....I know you're just dying to say something snarky, but keep your comments to yourself!!

I'm also unbelievably, nerdily excited for New Moon to come out tomorrow. I'm vacillating between being that nerdy grown-up who goes to Borders at midnight to buy it or just going to get it Saturday afternoon after I finish my homework. I suppose I'll just have to wait and see how I'm feeling tomorrow!

Annette, I put on Twilight....for some odd, unexplainable reason, it makes me extremely sleepy.

And Lillith, I'm glad that your Edison Baby is sleeping better, mine, on the other hand, cries every morning because he's so tired, regardless of how early I make him go to bed!

And Quentie, I heard Jumpin' Jumpin' the other day and I instantly thought of you!

Spring Ahead? Kiss my ass.

I agree with your comment completely, Kevin. I mean, what happens if the goatherder chooses the Americans and then in a few years the Americans pull out of Afghanistan and that goatherder is left knowing that it's only a matter of time before he's executed for treason. The author of the book actually makes some really interesting points about respecting the rules of engagement when you're fighting someone who has no desire to follow them...what do you do....how do you fight someone like that. It's an extremely interesting book, Kevin, you might want to look into reading it....he's got some elements of "Yay Jesus" and "Don't mess with Texas" and "I'm a Christian" that I found a little bit unnecessary, but I'm completely riveted by the fact that he never gave up...I can't vouch for the ending, as I'm not there yet, but if you're interested the book is called Lone Survivor by Marcus Luttrell if you get a free moment. How's Our Town going, by the way?

Today was a beautiful bright and sunshining day. I didn't have to wear my winter coat OR my scarf today and you know Spring is here because everybody has their scooters and motorbikes out. I love Spring in Logan!

I have my final for my drug dosage and calculations class on Wednesday. I know all the information is tucked away somewhere in my brain, I mean, I've learned it and been tested on it before, I'm just hoping my brain doesn't decide to do an information dump before then, otherwise, it could get very ugly! Sometimes I marvel at the fact that the thought of working in a busy hospital doesn't intimidate me, but taking tests makes me break out in hives!

Oh, and just for the record, I think Daylight Savings Time should die a slow and miserable death. That is all.

Beware the Ides of March

Almost my entire adult life I've hated the month of March. Upon reflecting on why I feel this way I realized that some of the worst things that have ever happened to me have happened in March. Granted, I've never been stabbed by a Roman senate, but if I could fast forward through the entire month and go from February to April I gladly would.

I'm reading a book about a Navy SEAL whose team was ambushed in the Hindu Kush mountains of Afghanistan and he was the lone survivor. I just finished the chapter detailing the killing of his best friends and fellow SEALS and that even with multiple bullet wounds, broken vertebrae and shrapnel embedded in his thigh, he's climbing up the side of a mountain to try to signal to American helicopters that he's alive. I can't even fathom the mental strength you would have to have to not give up and keep moving after seeing the side of your friend's head shot off. He talks about how difficult it is for soldiers with the Rules of Engagement set up by the Geneva Convention, because the goatherder that they let go might be the guy who tells the Taliban where they are. No wonder so many soldiers come back with so many mental issues. You can't have to deal with those kinds of life & death decisions without having some residual effects.

I've become addicted to chocolate covered marshmallow eggs. I can't help myself. They're just so good. Curse Easter and all its tasty non-denominational treats!

Tears, Teeth and THC

I do NOT appreciate in the movie 2012 when they drown the Indian astrophysicist and his family. Ever since I had Gavin, anything involving the death of children makes me an absolute wreck and I just cry and cry. I do NOT appreciate being emotionally manipulated like that. It was a crappy movie anyway, but still, I don't appreciate it one bit.

Gavin finally lost his top right tooth today! It had been loose and wiggly for ages and it finally fell out today. Him without that tooth is just about the cutest thing I've ever seen and I can't help but smile every time he comes to talk to me.

I went to the bar last night with my friend who is divorcing her cheating dog of a husband. The husband of the woman the cheating dog of a husband cheated with invited us all out. I must admit, the whole thing is quite bizarre--sitting at the table with the cheated on husband and the cheated on wife, but I had a really fun time, and I made two new friends. A successful evening, I think.

And Bree-ah-na, I didn't realize you were still reading my blog!! I clicked on your name to visit your blog and YOU'VE GOT A BABY!!! That's the kind of thing that you send an email announcement about!! I don't even remember Richie & Chrizzie mentioning it on their blog and now he's like 12 years old!! Congratulations! I hope motherhood is treating you well!

I would just like to share a little information I learned today while studying about illegal street drugs and their effects for my physiology class. Did you all know that Ecstasy aka E is actually a form of methamphetamine and that police and firefighters will not enter a home that is a known meth house without wearing a proper protective hazmat suit because it's so toxic? Also, that there are two types of marijuana plants--the male Cannabis sativa plant and the unpollinated female sinsemilla plant. Evidently, the sinsemilla version has a higher level of THC. I was not aware of all this....and this is why people accuse me of being painfully naive!

And Briskey, is there anyway that you and I can commit some sort of diner-wide poisoning, then dance around in strategically placed American flags? And can I please start calling you Honey-B?!!

Awesome vs. Not Awesome

Things that are awesome:

Chai Tea from the Borders
Raisin Bran Crunch Extra
Getting 100% on my IV therapies test
Getting a 10 out of 10 on my physiology assignment
Watching the kid dance in the aisles at the grocery store; jazz hands were involved
Knowing that Spring is finally just around the corner

Things that are NOT awesome:

The small Latino man who broke into my father's house yesterday afternoon and stole Hans' laptop and just her laptop. I mean, who does that....steals just an off-brand laptop...the world's dumbest criminal, that's who.
The kid who thought it would be a good idea to try and pull Gavin's pants down at school. I've never wanted to hit a 7 year old before as much as I did when I received that phone call from the school telling me what happened. He explained to me what happened and we came to the conclusion that the little boy responsible is definitely a full-on weirdo.

Makes me want to barf.

I just finished taking exam #2 for my physiology class. You know how when after you take a test you either have one of three "feelings?" The first is the pumped feeling of having just rocked the shit out of a test. The second is the dread feeling of having just failed a test. And the third is that feeling of uhhhrrrmmm, because you're not sure how you did. I'm at choice number three and it makes me feel like I want to barf.

A very dear and lovely friend just found out that her husband has been cheating on her with someone that he works with, but instead of wallowing and crying and whining, she's handling the whole thing with grace and dignity and keeping her head up. I'm immensely proud of her and in awe of that fact that she's functioning after such a betrayal. He, on the other hand, makes me feel like I want to barf.

I read an article recently about a woman in England who is giving her 15 year old Botox injections. Way to go mom. Way to eff your daughter up so much that she will probably have low self-esteem and self-worth for the rest of her life. That makes me feel like I want to barf.

Annette, you just have to accept that things will be squishy....you can't do that kind of "damage" to your body and expect there for be no consequences! I think you're beautiful and lovely and a stone fox. You do NOT make me feel like I want to barf.

Chapters, chapters, chapters!

I'm taking a break from homework. I've spent the last 5 hours working on assignments and I thought I'd take a break before I started on the readings for the chapters on the muscular and nervous system. The truth of the matter is I'm finding it VERY difficult to be responsible and do my homework, since I have a box of books from Amazon that have been calling my name. I got a little extra money and had been compiling a list of books I've been wanting to read, so the little extra money went promptly into the Amazon coffers and I now have 7 books to read! The thought of books makes me giddy! I started on the Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks last night...Henrietta Lacks was a black woman who died of cervical cancer when she was 31 years old in 1951, but before she died, they took a sample of her cancer cells (without her knowing) and unlike every other cell tissue sample hers didn't die, not only did they NOT die, but they started to replicate at a staggering rate. As a result, scientists have been using her cells for research since the '50s, developing polio vaccines and better understanding how the cells work and getting closer to cures for cancer. The only problem, the Lacks family never knew that their mother's cells were being used by thousands of scientists all over the world AND that companies had been selling their mother's cells and had made BILLIONS of dollars, with NONE of that money ever making it back to the Lackses. The story is fascinating and heartbreaking all at the same time.

So as part of my homework this week, I get to test my own urine. I can't begin to tell you how excited I am. No. Seriously. I really am. I've been waiting patiently since the start of the semester to be able to do it and now I can. I mean, who doesn't want to know whether or not they have urobilinogen in their urine?!!

Speaking of urine, I was at the store buying alcohol swabs and came upon a home marijuana testing kit. So I guess that means when Gavin gets older and he starts listening to Bob Marley and going through bags and bags of Doritos I can use this at-home marijuana testing kit to check his pee for vitamins T, H & C!

Annette, I'm sorry about Grayson and his finger. It really is a marvel that any of us survive childhood!

So, I thought it would be interesting to institute a new feature to my blog, entitled, Amanda's Calculation Corner!! This way you call all get an up-close example of the kinds of things I'm learning in my drug dosage and calculations class. So here is today's calculation from my most recent chapter on IV therapy:

The order is to infuse 800 mL over 3.5 hours beginning at 9pm. At 10:30pm the IV infiltrated with 525 mL remaining in the bag. The IV was restarted at 11pm. Calculate the gtt/min rate using a 10 gtt/mL set to complete the infusion on time.

I'll post the answer in my next blog!

The square root of Height times weight divided by 3131

Annette, I've sat down numerous times with the intention of writing a new blog and just haven't felt as thought I've had anything new or exciting to report, but seeing how you're holding my email hostage, I've collected a few tidbits to share with all of you.

1. My father took my son to see Monster Jam. Yep. An afternoon spent watching Monster trucks compete against each other. I've been told that there were a few "oh, yeahs" and some fist pumps involved. He came home with a hat that resembled the Monster Jam truck Gravedigger. I'll have to learn how to post pictures because the hat is kinda awesome!

2. I am officially half way through my Drug Dosage & Calculations class. We learned in class last week how to determine a dosage based on someone's body weight and body surface area! As nerdy as it sounds, I'm REALLY enjoying the class and get excited to learn new stuff every week. I'm also 1/3 of the way through my physiology class and I have to say I think it's my favorite of all the "body" classes I've had to take. It's amazing to finally know all the mysteries of the body and why your legs burn when you run too long or why your nose runs when it's cold outside.

3. I'm writing this blog from my newly acquired laptop! I know! I just joined the 21st century. After doing a little research and talking with Flood, I ended up buying a MacBook. I've named him Benny and use it to do homework and listen to my physiology lectures. I'm still getting acquainted with all the quirks, but so far I'm liking it a lot.

4. Lillith, take heart, Gavin was not a napper AT ALL. We used to call him "Edison baby" because the story goes that Thomas Edison would only sleep 4 hours a night because he had other things he'd rather be doing, so it sounds to me as though you have yourself an Edison Baby!! I know exactly what it feels like to be so tired you want to cry, but hang in there, it gets easier...

5. I've been watching the Olympics. I have to say that it makes me unbelievably nervous for the competitors. I mean, their whole lives have been about training for this moment and in just a second all that hard work can be destroyed....it's like the anxiety I feel for Cash Cab, but 900 times worse, but I still watch it....and, I'd really like to talk to the designer of the Japanese women's speed skating uniform....a gold lame unitard? Really? You really think that's the most flattering and attractive look?

Ok, Annette, did I earn my email now?

My dog has fleas

Well, everyone, I am very pleased to announce that I am currently the proud owner of a Lanikai soprano ukulele! HOORAY! I can't even express to you in words how excited this makes me! It was delivered on Wednesday and I've already learned to play Ode to Joy and Love Me Tender and I am now moving on to chords (there are 15 of them to learn!) and strum patterns (it's usually two upward strums for every downward strum). I found several free ukulele music sites on line (one called Uke Hunt...go ahead, say the website name out loud, but not in mixed company...I made the mistake of telling Hans the name while we were talking on the phone without realizing what it sounded like and had a moment of "oh geez!") that have just tons and tons of songs that you would never think you could play on the ukulele, so I printed off You Shook Me All Night Long by AC/DC, I'm a Believer by Neil Diamond and I Wanna Be Like You from the Jungle Book and once I get the hang of strumming and chords (again, 15!) I'm taking myself on the road to a coffee house near you!

I bought the textbook for my Drug Dosage & Calculations class and realized it's been a very long time since I've dealt with fractions and decimal points and percentages! But I'm determined to do well and be a Heparin calculating ninja when the class ends in March. I'm also going to be working on my Human Physiology class concurrently, so I'm going to be up to my eyeballs in isotonic solutions and mitochondria!

The weird dreams continue. Last night featured Chrizzie and Richie. We were all road tripping to some location in the Pacific Northwest and Chrizzie's father warned us that the weather was very bad and that it wasn't safe to drive the highways at night because of the weather and bandits....yes, bandits....but we left anyway and on the way we stopped at a cookie making plant where Chrizzie and Richie were friends of the owners and I ended up starting the cookie-making machine (think the machine from Edward Scissorhands, only not as creepy)and all this dough started flying everywhere and there was a huge mess and everybody was like "Oh, that Amanda, bless her heart." and I felt really stupid so I decided that I didn't want to continue on the road trip and started to drive home, in the dark, and I was really scared of the bandits....and then I woke up. A few nights before that I dreamt I was in Grey's Anatomy and I had to protect George's blood from this crazy lady that was trying to get it....the crazy lady turned out to be the mom from Home Alone and I remember thinking in my dream, "Why is the mom from Home Alone and Midnight at the Oasis from Waiting for Guffman trying to steal George's blood?" All very strange.

Sweet dreams?!?

Huzzah! The Holidays are over and things can go back to being only 80% stressful instead of 99% stressful. Huzzah!

I got bullied into celebrating New Years by Hans and Brother. I went to Salt Lake, drank entirely too many Bellinis (but, by God, they are good), ate too many quesadillas from the Sam's Club and ended up getting sleepy (booze and food coma I'm afraid) and Designated Driver dad drove us home (Midvale home) and we didn't even countdown or anything. I did however, in my tipsy mindframe manage to rock the New Year's Eve tiara Hans had purchased from the Target. I rocked it. I rocked it hard.

I must admit the one good thing about the holiday was having the entire week off from work. I just spent the entire time reading and crocheting and sleeping in and watching marathon upon marathon of awesome television. I finished Kathy Griffin's autobiography (still love her, even if her writing style leaves a little to be desired), Julia Child's memoir (want to be her when I grow up!) and the Canada Reads suggestion of Nikolski....Kevin & Ann-ette, this too is an excellent book and I HIGHLY recommend it...its made its way onto the rotation of books I will continue to read for the rest of my life....the characters are charming, the story is charming and the writing style is charming....an all-around pretty fantastic book. Now. Where's my damn Jade Peony, Ann-ette?!!

According to the tracking, my ukulele is currently in Commerce City, Colorado, after spending the holiday in Salina, Kansas. I have no idea where either of these places are located, but the important thing is that the ukulele is slowly, but surely making its way to me and then, Bon Jovi uke-style!

I've been having the oddest dreams lately. The other night I dreamt about The Grasshopper and the Ant, before that I dreamt that Ann-ette was married to Ryan Pence and madly in love with him. I'm trying to find a cause for the weirdness, but it's elusive at this moment. I know they say that dreams are the subconscious' way of working things out, but I'd like to know what Ryan Pence is doing in my subconscious, because frankly, it gives me the heebs!

Kevin, I was sorry to hear about Carolyn's mom. It's never an easy thing to lose someone, especially a mom, and just because she had dementia doesn't make that loss any easier....I hope Carolyn is giving herself time to grieve and cry...sometimes the best thing to do is just to cry it out....I'm a firm believer in crying things out and I encourage a healthy cry...I also encourage you to make her french toast and serve it to her while wearing a bow-tie and little else....everybody likes french toast....everybody likes bow-ties!

Lillith, I hope you're hanging in there and feeling as good as a 9 month pregnant lady centimeters from delivery can feel! Just remember, it will all be over soon and then the fun starts!

And just to make sure I don't incur the wrath of Briskey for not mentioning him....I love you and miss you and you DO look good in black & white!!