No Woman No Cry

It's 10 o'clock on a Saturday. What else is there to do but listen to some Bob Marley and write a blog?!

We've had a lot of excitement around the Rockne household these past few weeks, allow me to give you the highlights....a delightful Cliff's Notes version if you will...

My dad was on tv during the Notre Dame game half-time last week. They were dedicating a sculpture of my great-grandfather at the stadium and my dad was there for the unveiling. I missed the appearance, as I was studying for a Microbiology test. I have been assured that my brother has it recorded on his DVR, so my father's moment of famous glorious will be available for my viewing at a later date.

Gavin had parent teacher conference. He and I went for a visit with his teacher, Mrs. Cobabe. Yes. Her name really is Cobabe. She's probably about 25, 26 and it must be very strange to be talking to parents that are a good 5-10 years older than she is. Gavin is doing exceptionally well and reading like a madman. He's onto chapter books and is a good little reader. We're currently in the process of reading Inkheart....so far it's quite good and Mortimer is about to meet up with Capricorn...very exciting stuff.

We had to have our air ducts cleaned this week. Autumn has arrived in Cache Valley, bringing the cool weather and beautiful Fall colors with it. When I went to turn on the heat for the first time last week, a less than pleasant odor started emanating from the vents. My mom deduced that the smell was probably Gavin's pet hamster, Sprinkles, who had escaped from his cage a few months ago. I thought he had found his way outside, after the neighborhood kids had left the sliding glass door open all afternoon, and was living a free and happy life in an obliging field. It appears that he probably fell down my mother's vent (which was vent cover-less) and couldn't get back out and died. The kind technicians with ARS gave us the option of inspecting the garbage to see if Sprinkles' remains was amongst the debris. We politely declined. We are not telling Gavin. I think it's probably better that he picture Sprinkles running through a field of clover with the wind in his hair!

Gavin and I went on a date last night! The Tap Dogs were playing at the theatre, and Keri said that Gavin would probably enjoy it, so I used my staff perk of free tickets and went to the show. We sat on the first row and we had a pretty good time. Gavin only got restless a few times, which is quite an accomplishment. It made me miss Maggi's classes and learning how to tap without actually wearing tap shoes! I made a promise with myself, that when things mellow out and I have a little more expendable income, I'm going to go back to dance classes. How great would it be to be a dancin' granny?!

I bought my pre-advance tickets for New Moon yesterday morning!! Go ahead and mock and shake your head and think I'm lame. I don't care. Those books (and the subsequent movies) bring a little bit of joy to my life, so if you're going to begrudge me that, then maybe we shouldn't be friends anymore!! Annette, there is still time for me to buy you one and then you can stick around and have American Thanksgiving with me....think about it....pinatas!!

I'm trying to think of a way to cancel the Holidays. All they do is make me sad and stressed and frustrated....isn't the whole point of the Holidays to bring families together and make you remember how much you love everyone. It just makes me want to stab. Maybe I should become a Seventh Day Adventist. They don't believe in holidays. They don't believe in dancing either, come to think of it, but giving up shaking my ass in time to music would be worth it to me, that's how much I dislike the Holidays....seriously....I'm not kidding....

Chrizzie, I'm sorry to hear about the computer. I have heard that Apple is pretty great about replacing the music if you've downloaded it from itunes....it doesn't make up for the hit to the wallet that it took to replace the hard drive, but it could be the silver lining on that cloud!

And Floodikins, I agree with you completely about Obama winning the Nobel Peace Prize.

I shall leave you with an actual quote from my kid. Just so you don't get confused--"frogging" is Gavin's way of saying "farting.":
"Mom. One time I burped and it smelled so bad it was like I frogged in my mouth!"
I proceeded to laugh so hard that I nearly peed in my pants....

Nutella on toast....cut up into two, please!

Let me recreate the conversation I had with my son this morning, as I was making him nutella on toast.

Gavin: Mom. There's something I wanted to talk to you about.
Me: Ok. Go ahead.
Gavin: I want you to know that I love you for you. Not for how pretty you are or how funny you are or how smart you are, I love you just for you. I've wanted to tell you that for three days.
Me: **blink blink** Wow. Thank you!

I mean, what do you say to that?! It's without a doubt, one of the nicest things a boy has ever said to me and it came out of the mouth of my 6 year old son! I then told him that I loved him just for him too, but that he got the extra points because he had said it first!

These are the kinds of moments that make parenthood a little sweeter and that maybe, just maybe, I'm not effing the kid up as much as I think I am!

...anyone and anything at all that's loved by you

I'm happy to report that the funk has lifted and I am feeling better. I don't like feeling blue, so I'm glad that it's gone. Thanks for the suggestion Quentie, but I think I'll keep my liver vodka-free, I know what it looks like cirrhosis-ized and besides, just the fumes from vodka makes my nose bleed!

I came to the realization the other day that I'm getting "old person" elbows. Do they do botox for elbows?

Thanks for the lovely advice the other day, Annette. Although, I must admit I was slightly distracted by the fact that his name was Ned! Ned? Seriously?!!

I went grocery shopping today (I had run out of 100 calorie pack Pringles and Oscar Meyer deli luncheon meats) and as I was walking my basket to the car I passed a truck that had a sticker on the back window. It read: Happiness Is ___________. The part actually telling me what happiness is was rubbed away, but it instantly reminded me of the song from Good Man Charlie Brown about happiness being two kinds of ice cream and climbing a tree. Then that got me thinking about what I thought happiness is....I spent the better part of the afternoon compiling my list, it is as follows:

Happiness Is....

The first perfect red apple of the season.
Listening to my son read.
Breaking the spine on a new book.
Friends who tell me I'm beautiful and funny and smart, even though I know they're only saying it because they're my friends.
Television.
My raspberry beret.
Pop Music.
Car dancing to aforementioned pop music.
Waking up some place that isn't home.
Road Trips.
Putting my belt on the second notch.
Listening to my son sing when he thinks no one is around.
Learning something new.
Knowing I made a difference.
Hans' Macaroni & Cheese.
Snapple Peach Ice Tea.
Croutons.
Laughing so much my cheeks and stomach hurt.
Sitting in comfortable silence.
Spooning.
Hooooot Choocoolate!
Days off.
Not burning dinner!
Washing my face and taking out my contacts at the end of a long day.
Seeing my friends have successes in their lives.
The feeling of just flossed teeth.
Knowing that regardless of what happened today, tomorrow is new and full of possibilities.

Those are just some of them....there are more....but I thought 250+ Happiness Is would get tedious to you, my gentle readers and friends! So. It's your turn....I'd love you hear what you think happiness is!

Why don't I have a cool nickname like Bootsy?!!!

It's approaching midnight (when I started writing anyway). I have a case of the can't-sleeps and I've been feeling emotional and pensive for the last couple of days. The combination of the three is NOT a good thing. I've been feeling in a "funk" the last couple of days and not of the George Clinton variety....do you see what I did there....it was a play on funk in the capacity of George Clinton and that he is a "funk" musical artist....I suppose it takes away the cleverness when I point it out and then explain it....moving on....anyway, as I was saying, I've been feeling a sinking malaise the last couple of days and I'm finding it difficult to pull myself out of it. I'm not even completely sure why I'm feeling this way....work is fine, school is going well, the kid is the same as he ever is...although, I tried to teach him to ride his bike without the training wheels on Monday and he was having none of it! He started crying like I was beating him while we were in the front yard and then told me he'd like to stop because he was afraid of being "crumpled" and that he wanted to wait until he was older to learn to ride his bike without the training wheels....I figure when he's ready to learn he'll let me know....but for the life of me I've been feeling wah-wah....I think it probably has to do with the fact that I haven't worked out for a week and I miss the endorphins....that, or I'm moving on the fast path to becoming Miss Havisham!

I read a story of a 79 year old granny who was diagnosed with terminal cancer, but instead of wallowing and feeling sorry for herself, she made herself a "Bucket List" and is kicking Life in the ass...she just finished skydiving. As inspiration, I have decided that I need to make a Bucket List and start checking things off, because, let's face it, I'm not getting any younger and life isn't about living forever, it's about who you meet and the adventures you have! I will NOT be adding skydiving to my list, however, that shit is crazy!

I would just like to take a moment and write a few open letters, if I may, and I can, because it's my blog:

Dear Girls of Utah State--If you stand up and more than an inch and a half of your tummy hangs over the top of your pants, please just buy a bigger size. Don't be shy. Trust me, you'll look thinner and therefore more attractive to the gentlemens...but don't look TOO thin, I read an article the other day about how men view women with "a little meat on their bones" as being friendlier and more attractive.

Also

Dear Extremely White Guy Who Runs Past Me On Campus Everyday As I'm Walking Back To My Car--Please put your shirt back on. It's not THAT hot and your sweaty pectorals unnerve me.

Also

Dear Girl Who Sits Next To Me And Audibly Sighs EVERY 5 Seconds and Then Talks To Her Friend--Listen sweetheart, if this is so boring, and everything Andy is saying is so tedious, LEAVE. You're just angering me, well, you and the dude who keeps kicking my chair and the girl who keeps clicking the top of her pen. Seriously. I realize this information might not be new to you, but the last time I learned about the Golgi Apparatus was like 12 years ago, I'm a little rusty, so shut the hell up or move it along.

Also

Can anybody help me remember how to do fractions?! I had to determine multiple servings for a Nutrition assignment and couldn't remember how it all worked!! Annette has already graciously agreed to teach me metric conversions...by the way, WHY in the world are we still teaching our kids inches and cups?!! I shouldn't, as a grown-up, have to ask my Canadian friend how many mL are in a cup....I feel like my Elementary and Middle School education was sorely lacking in helping me be competitive in the world of maths and sciences!

I'm an eukaryote.

School started this week for the kid and myself. He was VERY excited to finally start, although he's a little disappointed in the fact that he only has ONE recess. I had my first Microbiology lab on Monday. I looked at bacteria and amoebas under a microscope--it was actually a lot of fun and I signed up to do a report of Fifth Disease! I learned today in class that smallpox has been eradicated in modern society and as a result if terrorist were ever able to get their hands on a strain of smallpox (stealing it from one of the 2 labs that have it) for chemical warfare, they could fundamentally kill the entire world population--minus those people who are members of the military and have been inoculated. I'm pretty sure that this class is going to turn me into Howard Hughes. Dearest A will you be kind enough to leave me bottles of milk and sandwiches outside my door?!

Kevin, bear with me, this will go somewhere. I don't know if you're familiar with a movie called Girls Just Wanna Have Fun. It stars a young Sarah Jessica Parker as a girl who just wants to dance and her military yes sir no sir father won't let her, eventually he sees that she was born to dance and no longer has a problem with her reaching for her dream. Anyway, there is a part in that movie where SJP and her friend (an even younger Helen Hunt) make copies of a debutante party invitation and give it out to all the unsavories (lady muscle builders *HORROR*) and they all crash and zaniness ensues! When I read your comment, I thought about how YOU were the unsavory!! Also, I'd like an update on the department, too!

Lillith--I didn't get a chance to tell you how cute you and your bump are! I hope he's being kind to you. And congrats on not having to clean up the poo!

Briskey--I know this is late, but I happen to LOVE and ADORE Tim Gunn. He is NOT creepy. And if he weren't gay I would happily marry him. Although, come to think of it, if he weren't gay he'd probably be an ass, so....

Quentie!! I'm glad that you've found me! My mom asked what you were up to the other day. I told her that you were probably harassing Just Jan and wearing womens shoes!

Oh! And is there any polite way to offer a mint to the dude sitting behind you in class who every time he exhales he sends a toxic cloud of awful breath into my nostrils?

A long overdue update!! For you Briskey!!

According to Ann-ette's "Blogs I Read" list, I haven't updated my blog for 3 weeks!! That's a long time! A lot has actually happened in those last 3 weeks! Allow me to share a few of the events:

1. My brother and his lovely wife had a little baby boy on the 28th of July. I met him this weekend. He's adorable and tiny and the most mellow baby ever! I was worried that when I held him that I would get the baby pang and start to want to have another one. I am happy to report that did NOT happen and my "no more babies" stance is still holding strong.

2. I finished with my Human Anatomy class on the 31st of July. I ended up getting a 'B'! I was ecstatic about it and Megs congratulated me on surviving the class and doing well by buying me a Funnel Cake Making Kit! I actually REALLY enjoyed the class and I learned an obscene amount of information. My next classes are Microbiology and Nutrition. So now not only will I be afraid to leave the house because of the germs I'll be learning about, I'll also be afraid to eat anything because of the calories!!

3. Gavin is getting so big. He starts 1st grade in a couple of weeks and he has friends and is doing more and more for himself. It's surreal to realize that he's nearly 7. I don't feel any older, but the wrinkles on my forehead beg to differ!!

3a. I had my first real "boy" experience with my son this weekend. We were driving to Salt Lake to visit and he informed me that he had to pee. As we were in the middle of Sardine Canyon and there were no obvious bathrooms and he was REALLY starting to the do the pee-pee dance, I pulled over to the side of the road and he peed in a bush!! I now realize that I have crossed a threshold with Gavin and he is now officially more boy than baby.

4. I have decided that if I knew that broken hearts took this long to heal, I would have avoided the whole situation to begin with!!

5. Briskey--Megs and I have decided that your blog is the highlight of our sad, sad existence. We especially enjoy your severe dislike of Cruz Beckham and Kristen Stewart. And your trying to remember what the African country Namibia was today killed me!! I miss you. Can we please bring back our weekly post-mortems of ANTM?

6. Chrizzie--I LOVE the new hair! I always thought you looked so sassy with the short hair!

7. Ann-ette--I've decided that you and I should write a pamphlet on what to do when you survive Nuclear Winter. I think step one should be "Don't Panic," followed by step two "Don't eat douchebags" I think it would be a valuable public service.

8. Sister--I'm so proud of you! Keep doing what you're doing and you'll get there before you know it!!

9. Kevin--I know this is random and totally a different medium, but your profile picture on Facebook is priceless!! Please tell me you were a maitre'd in a restaurant and they made you wear the monkey suit!!

Fit and Trim

Well, it's Wednesday. Wednesday tends to be a good day, for several reasons.

1. It's the middle of the week. Which means the weekend, and spending the entirety of it in my pajamas, is only 2 days away.

2. It's Midweek Madness on Jezebel. A recap of all the weekly tabloids without actually having to buy any of them....I mean, who has $3 to spend on the magazine that says Kristen Stewart is pregnant with Rob Pattinson's baby?!

3. It's the one day of the week that I don't make myself do homework. I give myself Wednesdays off, or I'll get anatomy burn-out.

4. It's So You Think You Can Dance night!!! Oh friends. I simply adore this show. Although I'm not as attached to the dancers this season as I was to last season(Joshua! Katie! Twitch! Gev!), I still get nerdily excited to see what everybody is going to dance. I developed a bit of a dance crush on Jason after this evening's performances. He kinda came out of no where for me. Maybe it's because I wasn't terribly fond of Caitlin and would often glaze over when they would dance as partners for the first few weeks. It will be interesting to see who gets the axe tomorrow.

Oh, while I'm talking about tv....so there's a new show coming to Fox called "More to Love." I keep seeing the commercials for it during SYTYCD. Essentially it's The Bachelor for fatties. Yep. A collection of overweight women are competing to win the love of one portly gentleman. Now. Usually I would be very "hooray" about something like this....I think it's time that society realizes that women are all shapes and sizes and non-size 2s deserve a chance at happiness and love. However, this show doesn't seem like that at all. The commercial is one fat girl after another crying about how being fat has kept them from finding love. I don't like it. I don't like the exploitation of insecure women. I suppose I should watch the first episode before I pass judgment, but having to watch women throw themselves at a man makes me angry, uncomfortable and did I mention angry. Ladies, what's so wrong with being single? I know sometimes it can get lonely, but really, is your self-respect and dignity worth it?

Oh, and Annette & Briskey....so I was sitting in class and I looked over to my left and there, sitting down a row and a few seats over from me was Cute Tall Heather!! It could have been someone else, I kinda panicked and didn't look at her again to really see, but I was pretty sure it was her. From what I could see, she was still Cute and Tall, which made me instantly catty and insecure. You know. There are just people who are able to do that and she was always that person for me. But then I remember that she wouldn't watch Waiting for Guffman because it had an 'R' rating and just sat in Floodikins kitchen, while we all watched it and I didn't feel quite so lame! I know. That's a catty statement, but who does that?!!